In the corporate world I’m currently befuddled, in flux, in limbo, caught between the past and the future, leaving behind a job I love and have done well and looking forward to the next position that I will assume likely sometime in mid-March. I am embracing the opportunity to do something new, to report to a regional manager I like and respect, to work with new people, to explore a new corporate culture, to move back into management.
Fifteen years ago I decided that dealing with personnel issues in a crisis management situation after the merger of two weak companies that were eventually sold off and no longer exist that I would rather be responsible only for myself. I said to myself – never again -despite knowing how foolhardy it can be to say “NEVER”. But that was before I found Al-Anon, embraced yoga, learned to mediate, found my spirituality in the beauty of Nature and learned to live life on life’s terms and accept people, including myself, for who they are. In the past 15 years I’ve grown, developed wisdom and soft skills, courage, fortitude, self- knowledge and the appreciation of what is needed to manage others.
As part of the restructuring and integration of my newly formed employer post acquisition by another insurer I will be assuming a new role. But for now it is business as usual. I feel caught between the old and the new, the past and the future, the comfort of what I know to the excitement of what is to come, the desire to move forward with the acceptance that the change will come when it is time, the regret that some people I care for are leaving or unhappy with the changes versus the celebration that others I respect have earned plum positions in the new company.
I have allowed the uncertainty to affect my focus. My mind wanders. My concentration is a bit off. I can read the same document several times and still overlook the same error while proofreading. It is frustrating. But I need to give myself a break.
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