Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Still Struggling to Locate My Lost Muse
It has been a little more than 6 months since Mom died and I’m still struggling to locate my literary muse who has taken an extended sabbatical. While I am endeavoring to focus on my blessings, the flexibility my job offers, my good fortune of sharing my life with my inimitably understanding spousal unit, and our focus on creating an Eden from the hardscrabble rocky terrain on our ridge at the edge of the Shenandoah Valley, my interest and ability to write has been impaired. It has been so much simpler to play Candy Crush, watch Jeopardy, drink an extra two glasses of wine, or sit on the deck staring up at the night sky with lightning bugs flashing through the trees than to try to recapture my voice.
But I feel compelled to try to recapture my ability to write my blog which has provided me with a creative outlet and an opportunity to share my thoughts and opinions whether anybody ever reads what I write or not. This type of writing I find therapeutic. But I’m still trying to adapt to my new reality and continue to experience writers’ block.
The writers’ block does not extend to my professional world. My job involves a great deal of technical or legal writing that must send clear messages to internal and external customers about contract analysis or evaluation of risk that an insurer must consider when determining how to value a tort claim. This type of written communication must be clear, concise, fact based, analytical, politically sensitive and an awareness that any note, letter, email, text or missive could be scrutinized by a judge sometime in the future.
Alternatively, my blog posts are personal reflections / opinions of where I am in my personal life, what I am thinking at a particular moment in time, how I feel about various disparate issues, what shoes styles intrigue me, which flowers make me happy, how I am dealing with aging or grief or what is on sale or whether Civil War re-enactors make an effort at authenticity or whether I envision drones delivering my wine when I retire so I don’t have to engage with the general public at Walmart or how yoga benefits me physically, mentally and spiritually.
Then again, perhaps my excitement over the impending 7/16 return of Game of Thrones is enough to bring me out of my self imposed hibernation, reinvigorate my psyche, and give me the impetus to get back to my blog.