Maybe it’s the fact that winter has finally enveloped my Universe; but I’ve felt reflective for the last two weeks. I think about where I’ve been and how I’ve changed as I drive to my appointments, search for plants to bring life into my home, and ponder the meaning of life as I look out the window at the winter landscape.
In my early 40’s I hit the reset button. The pain I’d experienced caused me to seek the help I needed to reinvent myself for the second half of my life. I went from unhappy to happy; negative to positive; insecure to secure; fearful to fearless; expecting the worst to expecting the best; concerned about the future to celebrating today; dissatisfied to satisfied; trying to change people to accepting them as they are; resistant to change to embracing change. I let go of fear. I let go of negativity; I studied yoga; I embraced Al-Anon and learned to love myself and accept that I couldn’t fix somebody else and that I needed to live without alcoholics in my environment.
I made a list, checked it for weeks, and asked the Universe to bring me the life partner I deserved. And the Universe answered. My guardian angels brought me together with my husband, my life partner that I love and accept for who he is and embrace my good fortune everyday.
I’ve learned to try new things; to embrace challenges; to focus on abundance, beauty, love, peace, serenity, joy and good wine. I’ve learned to let go and accept what is, to celebrate the people who have given me love, to thank those who have given me challenges, to forgive those that have caused me hurt, and to forgive myself for my imperfections.
This afternoon as I was driving home from my errands I recalled the little girl who looked out the window at the school bus bringing children to the school across the street and wishing that someday, I would be one of those children. Wow! The decades have past since I had that dream. But I still feel nostalgia for that little girl – even though she never could have imaged what she would face in her future.
That is the beauty of humankind. We can change our spots – unlike the leopard. I did it! I rebooted my hard drive. And so can you!