Remembering 2020 as the New Year Dawns

 I know that 2020 has been a year of challenges for all of us. However, I've altered my psyche to focus on the positivity that surrounds me rather than the negativity. Yes, the year of COVID has altered our Universe; but it hasn't been all bad.

These are the things that I celebrate as we conclude 2020:

1)    I have been able to telecommute without interruption to my job.

2)     My dad was able to celebrate his 88th birthday; and those of us who love him were afforded the   privilege of celebrating with him before the country shut down - just barely.

3)    My brother was blessed with the opportunity to stay with Dad, work remotely from Logansport,      Indiana, and develop an enhanced relationship that is rewarding for both of them;

4)    Dad's neighbor Scott became part of the family and provides an additional layer of love and        support for our beloved father.

5)    My business unit at work re-organized yet again; however, I was fortunate to be assigned to a work     group of dynamic, enjoyable, like minded co-workers that helped me assimilate to a new role.

6)    My beloved husband found a role that he loves, that fulfills him, and gives him an opportunity to   shine.

7)    Although I tend to be an introvert (despite what outsiders think), I've been able to enhance             select friendships with my small cadre of friends throughout COVID.

8)    Solitude afforded me the chance to indulge in my favorite pastimes - reading and drinking wine.

9)    Rappahannock Vineyards offered free shipping for orders.

10)  Zoom mediations & WebEx Meetings revolutionized my world.

11)    I realized on my 61st birthday that retirement is just a few years away.

12)    Regular short trips to Indiana gave me an opportunity to spend quality time with my Dad and               brother.

13)    I let go of resentments.

14)     Investigation Discovery is the gift that keeps on giving - murder - 24/7 - 365......who knew how             many horrific acts have been perpetrated on innocent victims. This gives me a greater sense of             gratitude for my good fortune.

15)    I have friends that have lost loved one due to COVID. My heart aches for them. 

16)    Downsizing. Rightsizing. A focus on the future. Fewer better. What do I want in my life moving             forward? Critical thinking for the next stage of life approaching.

17)    Gratitude that my sister is still keeping a positive outlook as she deals with deteriorating health             from lupus.

18)    Celebrating that despite the political turmoil in the USA, the founders got it right. The republic             will survive in spite of the media and partisan politicians. 

19)    I don't miss business travel.

20)     Professional sports - eh....

21)    Movie theaters.....who cares? I can stream fabulous shows on my wall size Samsung TV from                 numerous sources!

22)    Shopping online works for me. Now...if only a drone could deliver my Costco and wine shopping!

23)    It is possible to wear the same cashmere jogger outfit everyday for a week and just change the             scarf around my neck and nobody on Zoom will know.

24)    Eating in restaurants during COVID is no fun.  Outdoor dining in tents - no ambiance.

25)    The state and federal governments became giddy with power and abused it to the point of near                 totalitarianism which violates the Constitution. States controlled by Democrats were the most                 oppressed. I hope there is a backlash in 2022.

26)    Thinking back to the angst over Y2K is amusing. A debacle that did not materialize.

27)    The cancel culture must be cancelled. We do not need a modern Bonfire of the Vanities. Read          history. Learn from it. Even if the language is not politically correct.

28)    COVID is not the worst thing that has ever happened. Anybody who thinks such has never                     studied the history of the world. This is a blip. Recall that before penicillin people died when                 pricked by the thorn of a rosebush. 

29)    Life is happier and less stressful without social media and television news. Unplug. Read a                book. Watch Netflix. 

30)    Live a life of gratitude. Thank the universe for what you have. Understand that we Americans,                 even those who feel oppressed, have it better than the rest of the world. Stop complaining. Do the         next right thing. Quit casting aspersions against others. Look for common ground instead of                     differences. Embrace the progress that has been made rather than focusing on what has yet to be             accomplished. Look to 2021 with optimism for a new opportunity. Everyday is a new chance to be all that you can be.

 

Christmas Self Care in the Year of COVID ~ 2020

Befitting the year of COVID our Christmas day began with a loss of power at 5:00am. Since we live in the boondocks, no electricity also means no water from the well, no septic, no flushing toilets, no coffee, no French toast from the challah bread, and beginning the day with furry teeth. Once the power returned, we celebrated Christmas in the way all marooned, quarantined, abby-normal people do - watching hours on the all murder 24/7 Investigation Discovery Channel. Today's offerings were winter themed - so particularly festive.

Notwithstanding the above cheery festivities, 2020 has been an extraordinary year that had created a need for me to embrace comfort and celebrate small things that bring joy. Since I turned 61 over the summer, I've decided to consider the "fewer better" philosophy of one of my favorite women owned brands - Cuyana. Consequently, I've been consciously looking for and purchasing fewer, higher quality items that bring me joy.

Todd and I do not exchange gifts for Christmas or birthdays. Instead, we tend to share experiences. As such, we purchase our own little pleasures. This COVID Christmas I've indulged in the following glorious purchases:

1)    A Breville  Bambino Plus Espresso Machine which I use every morning

https://www.breville.com/us/en/products/espresso/bes500.html

2)    Naked Cashmere jogger suit 

https://www.nakedcashmere.com

3)    Tatcha skin care products

https://www.tatcha.com/category/shop-all

4) M.Gemi loafers / drivers/ ballet flats

https://mgemi.com/pages/women

COVID has also resulted in many companies offering pay over time options without any interest through Klarna, Affirm, After Pay or Pay Pal Credit. So "fewer better" can be purchased without guilt or interest . 

Christmas Eve 2020 ~ In The Year of COVID

 

2020 has been a struggle for most of us. In a year filled with pandemic, forced isolation, political upheaval, financial hardship, the burning and looting of cities, government orders that shuttered businesses and kept people from gathering, governors and mayors that exempted themselves and select groups of protestors from their own autocratic actions, and media personalities that lost any semblance of credibility to  the extent most people I know turned off the television and radio news and relied on only the printed word for information, there have been some silver linings.

Professionally, I experienced another series of frustrations and disappointments in the midst of yet another re-organization - a scenario that has been a constant since my company was acquired in July 2015. Essentially, it has been the continued marginalization of those with "institutional knowledge". Todd says rather more bluntly that I an now a "sage dinosaur". At least I'm a dinosaur with valuable skill. Despite the "career" changes that have in turn left me angry, unmotivated, unfocused, depressed, anxious and demoralized,  I've been blessed to work with a wonderful team, a manager who understands me, and a regional leader that is among the best managers I've experienced in my 35 years in the insurance industry.  The biggest blessing - my ability to telecommute and continue receiving a regular paycheck when so many others have lost their livelihoods during the past year. 

I'm also celebrating the rediscovery of a simpler, quieter, slower existence and a renewed focus on self-care. Cooking at home. Enjoying summer evenings on the deck - sipping wine, listening to the birds, surrounded by our outdoor refugee cats, and finding peace in the sounds and beauty of nature.

The holidays of 2020 have been strangely quiet. The last real family celebration - my dad's 88th birthday in March. My brother and I sang "It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine" as we stocked up on foods at D & R for the party we hosted in my childhood home in Logansport, Indiana. It really was the last "normal" thing that happened in 2020 - although we did charge entrants to the festivities a cover fee of a  roll of toilet paper. The next day, the country shut down. The greatest gift of COVID - my brother was able to stay in Indiana with Dad and telecommute to his job in Texas. 

Since March my travels have been limited to shot "social distancing" trips to Michigan and Indiana to see my dad and in-laws. Those trips have been filled with joy that our loved ones are safe, healthy and happy.  While I would love to be with our loved ones this Christmas, I am content to wait until those most at risk are able to be vaccinated. Then, let the floodgates of a full life open.

Merry Christmas to all!

Liberal Hypocrisy Regarding Amy C. Barrett & Clarence Thomas

 Why is it not misogyny to disagree with Amy Coney Barrett’s nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court on the basis of her judicial philosophies  but it would be misogyny to oppose the nominations of RBG, Elena Kagan, and Sonia Sotomayor? Why is is not racist to oppose Clarence Thomas merely because he is a conservative but it would be racist to oppose Thurgood Marshall? It is either misogyny to oppose any woman on the basis of sex or political philosophy or it is not. It is either racist to oppose all people of color no matter one’s political affiliation  or it is not.

The political machinations regarding what constitutes misogyny or racism dumbfounds me. If citizens chose to vote against Hillary Clinton they were labeled anti woman. Democrats who refused to consider the brilliant legal career of Amy C. Barrett, however, are not anti woman. Instead they purport to be principled leaders saving the country from conservative legal theory. 

I find it remarkably convenient that labels are unimportant when  a person, politician or jurist with conservative ideology is vilified by the press and other politicians. However, any offensive act by a liberal is swept under the rug for political expediency.

If conservative politicians and special interest groups had tried to derail the nomination of Sonia Sotomayor, it would have been racism and misogyny. However, it was perfectly fine for liberal to besmirch Clarence Thomas because he doesn’t follow the script for his race. This is appalling.

And it is time to stop the litmus test for Supreme Court nominees. Advice & consent based on qualifications is the basis....not political ideology. 

 Nobody can accurately predict how a jurist will decide any case. And that is what we want for our republic. Each case must be decided on its merits based upon the Constitution as it was written and based on precedent. But precedent should not always be followed. Consider Dredd Scott v Sanford and Plessy v Ferguson. 

If liberals truly believe in equality and equal opportunity for all citizens there should be a celebration each time an exceptional individual who is a woman or person of color is considered for a position of authority without regard to ideology. But, liberals denigrate those who do not agree with them and call them names. That is flat out hypocrisy that offends open minded individuals. 

A Reminder That Addiction is a Family Disease

 

There has been quite a bit of recent news reporting and social media commentary about Hunter Biden's addiction with attempts to exploit the family tragedy for political purposes. While it is perfectly reasonable to question the Burisma affiliation, I personally believe it is improper to blame Joe Biden for trying to protect his son.

Addiction affects far more families than many Americans would like to believe. Those of us who have experienced the pain, insanity, devastation, humiliation, heartache, financial losses, and emotional effects of loving an addict or a family member who has  suffered from a family member's addiction appreciate the former Vice President's conundrum. Many friends and family members of addicts stay on the merry-go-round of denial throughout life, hoping and praying for a miracle. 

My mother was the adult child and sister of alcoholics. It affected her personal relationships and approach to life. While she was able to accept that her sister suffered from alcoholism, she was never able accept that her father was an alcoholic.  It took years for me to realize my first husband was an alcoholic. Once I found my way to Al-Anon, I attended meetings for years before I was able to accept the first step. Al Anon follows the same 12 Steps that AA uses to find recovery. The first step requires us to admit that we have no power over alcohol, other people places and things, and that our lives had become unmanageable. It only took me 10 years to accept that truth. Fortunately, I found a community in Al Anon that helped me find my own recovery, peace and serenity, so that I could learn the tools to embrace a healthy relationship and life. https://al-anon.org/

Joe Biden is not the first and will certainly not be the last politician that has a family member that suffers from addiction. I recall that George McGovern's daughter, Terry, died of addiction, alone in a cold alley. https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/teresa-mcgovern-a-death-in-the-cold/2012/10/21/42ad26ca-1bde-11e2-ba31-3083ca97c314_story.html    While I  would never consider supporting the politics of Mr. McGovern, reading the story of his daughter's sad death brought tears to my eyes. This was  a family tragedy for McGovern just as Hunter Biden's addiction is a family tragedy for Joe Biden. None of us know what is within the hearts or lives behind closed doors of another. One of the most valuable lessons I learned during my years in Al Anon is that most people do the best they can with the tools they have at any point in time. Joe Biden has experienced significant losses in his life. I cannot judge him for wanting to protect his son.

We Americans have lost a lot of civility. Everyday I am dumbfounded by the crass, obtuse, rude, offensive, obnoxious partisanship that has filled our lives.  No matter your political affiliation, consider being kind and resist exploiting what is clearly a devastating family tragedy for Mr. Biden. 

Tatcha~The Silk Peony Eye Cream

 

I love cosmetics. Discovering skincare products that solve the problems I’ve experienced as a woman over 60 are my passion. Yes, I am vain. I have no desire to be overly natural & look my age.  It looking for surgical intervention, but I will seek out alternatives that offer solutions to dry, sensitive, aging skin.

Every time I think I’ve stumbled upon an eye cream that doesn’t burn, yet provides some correction for fine lines around my eyes, dryness, plumping or travel weariness, I’m ultimately disappointed. But after my most recent experience with redness, sensitivity, rosacea, allergic reactions, itching, burning, and horror at my blotchy face ( was it work related stress or the tomato vines🤔) I decided to try another skincare regimen for sensitive skin, this time by Tatcha. 

Wow! My face cleared up within two days! My skin looks clear and luminous. But of paramount importance, the Silk Peony Eye  Cream soaks into the delicate skin around my eyes and doesn’t burn! It doesn’t burn my eyelids!!!!  It doesn’t cause puffiness. It doesn’t burn underneath my eyes. It just feels....amazingly moisturizing. 

I’ve experimented with untold numbers of skincare products in the last few years, but I can state categorically that this is a winner. Try a travel sample. You will be sold! 

https://www.tatcha.com/product/SILK-PEONY-EYE.html

Embrace Gratitude Instead of Anger

 

One of the greatest lessons I learned during my years in Al-Anon is to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. It is my belief that too many people today forget to celebrate their blessings. In one of my earliest meeting at a church in Hong Kong, my group advocated for cultivating an attitude of gratitude to reset the focus from what we lack to what we already have. 

My first Al Anon home group suggested that I make a gratitude list to remind myself that I am blessed....even when it seems there is little to no hope.

I am grateful today for the following in no particular order of importance: 

1) my family, particularly having my dad to cherish

2) my husband

3) my job

4) a roof over my head

5) transportation 

6) food

7) wine

8) indoor plumbing

8) heat

10) air conditioning 

11) a grocery store

12) refrigerators 

13) electricity 

14) water

15) Internet

16) clothing

17) gasoline, propane, 

18) sight

19) hearing

20) taste

21) smell

22) mobility

23) nature

24) music

25) books

26) telephones 

27) roads

28) our cats

29) beauty

30) modern medicine 

31) libraries 

32) flowers

33) memories

34) beaches

35) written language 

These are just a few of the myriad things for which I feel gratitude. Make your own list. Review it often. Thank your higher power for what you have. Let go of resentments. Embrace positive thoughts. Breathe deeply while looking at a sunrise or sunset and celebrate the beauty that surrounds us.

Letting Go Of Negativity

During my acupuncture appointment this afternoon, I discussed with my practitioner how the negativity on social media, in the news, at work, from acquaintances, from family members, and in the atmosphere has knocked me off kilter. It isn’t just Covid, isolation, social distancing, the election or the riots (aka “ peaceful protests”) it is the hate, polarization, political fighting, and inability of people who live in the most prosperous, free, egalitarian nation on earth to consider the art of compromise. I am continually dumbfounded that intelligent people with opposing viewpoints can’t have a rational discussion. 

Consequently, I’ve stopped listening to radio, watching news, engaging with dissenters, succumbing to the taunts on social media. We talked with some folks this weekend at an event at Old  Bedford Village that described plunging blood pressure after deleting Facebook. 

When will people appreciate that the media, politicians and businesses profit from polarization? We should instead focus on what we have in common instead of our differences? We should count our blessings instead of what we lack. We should send positive energy to the Universe. We should celebrate that the Declaration of Independence argued that we have the right to life, liberty and the ‘pursuit’ of happiness. ( not actual happiness, but the pursuit). 

Thank your higher power for the little things. Gratitude brings abundance. Giving brings abundance. Kindness begets kindness. Letting go of resentment brings peace & serenity. 

Friendship and family harmony should not be contingent upon political views. Accept we will not all agree on everything. Listen. Respect the views of others. Resist denigrating others for having a different opinion. Recall the wisdom of the past: do not judge another until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. 

9/11 ~ 19 Years Ago Today

 I’m teary eyed as I write this. My memories of that day 19 years ago are still vivid. I was sitting at my desk, a claim supervisor for an insurer, looking out the window at the Mall in Columbia, Maryland. One of my coworkers was on the phone with a friend who was a secret service agent at the White House. She slammed down the phone & said a plane had struck the World Trade Center. We all gathered together in the lunch room watching an old vacuum tube TV that could only broadcast one channel. We watched horrified as a second plane flew into the second tower. It was surreal. Next was the Pentagon, that massive complex on the Potomac that is the heart, soul and brain trust of our military. By then we knew there was a 4th plane. Everyone speculated the target....Fort Detrick? The a White House? The Capitol building? Fort Meade? We watched the towers collapse with the roar of debris tumbling on everybody in the vicinity. The site looked like a dystopian Armageddon. The world vowed we would never forget. We would never forget the firefighters and police officers who ran into the burning building to rescue people of every race, creed, color, sex or national origin. Many that were not killed when the towers fell have died of illnesses related to exposure to toxic chemicals. I will not forget the heroes on Flight 93 that died trying to stop the terrorists that highjacked the plane from hitting their unknown target. I recall walking along sidewalks in Westchester County a few weeks later as my friend identical homes where someone had died in the towers. 

It is painful to recall the tragedy of that day and the weeks that followed and consider the hate, discord, protests by those to young or too uneducated to know what happened. Terrorists attacked  the symbols of our freedom, our strength, our center of commerce, our safety, the fruits of capitalism, our glory architecture, site where countless immigrants came ashore to start new lives.

9/11. If for no other reason, every patriotic American  should rise up, lead the throngs of we everyday citizens who still mourn the day of our lost innocence, tell those who hate people  they consider ‘privileged’ to watch very video, see the footage of people jumping to their deaths to avoid death by fire, listen to every phone call made to loved ones, read the names of every public servant and victim, look at their pictures, consider the volunteers, and then tell us a with a straight face that only certain lives matter.  

I will never forget. And I do not accept that denigrating our flag is an acceptable protest. This flag, the symbol of our republic, helped us through the horror. If you cannot honor the symbol of the free world, LEAVE🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Tuning Out The News

 Many of my coworkers, friends and acquaintances across the political spectrum have joined me in tuning out national and local television news, many newspapers, radio stations, a significant amount of social media ( particularly Twitter), professional sports, info-tainment, and any medium that creates  more divisiveness and angst in this year of COVID, social upheaval, and polarized politics. It is just too exhausting. My husband withdrew from Facebook because he found it too agitating. 

Nobody I know watched or at least admitted to watching any of the political conventions. Why bother! It is all propaganda from the left or the right. Who would have imagined that in 2020 Americans would be left with the option to vote for an addled old white man vs an obnoxious old white man? At least it would be entertaining to watch a race between Nikki Haley and AOC. 

The protests are new to young Americans. However, those of us who were alive when Detroit and LA burned in the ‘60s have concluded the unrest is cyclical. Watch some video of Chicago during the 1968 Democrat convention. 

So, many of us over 40 are tuning out, watching home renovation shows, hoping the stock market stays bullish, listening to audio books, reading novels, avoiding urban areas, thankful for telecommuting, and the freedom to switch it off! I feel more calm, peaceful and serene and will stick the The Babylon Bee for some satire that makes me laugh,  look at cat memes and old Far Side cartoons on Facebook, and occasionally poke a tiger for some random fun.

Indy 500 - Ends On Yellow Flag - Par for 2020

 

https://www.indystar.com/story/sports/motor/2020/08/23/indy-500-2020-live-updates-104th-indianapolis-500/3412787001/

Of course! In the year of COVID -19, the Indy 500 had to conclude on a yellow flag. There will always be an asterisk on Takuma Sato’s second victory. But let’s face it, 2020 is a year of asterisks. Watching sporting events on TV in 2020 with empty stadiums, eerily vacant bleachers, silent environments without cheering crowds, altered seasons, postponed dates, or compressed schedules feels dystopian to the same extent that cities without vibrant citizenry ( with exception, of course, of ‘peaceful unmasked protesters’) looks and feels somewhat post apocalyptic- as if a neutron bomb exploded, denuded the universe of humans, and left empty skyscrapers. 

If it were only feasible to hit the reset button on 2020 and start over..... but NOT  a la Groundhog Day, PLEASE! Reset with the knowledge we have today and our loved ones safely at home, alive and well. 

Yes,I know from the lessons I’ve learned that we are all where we are meant to be today. ...according to the Universe, the God of our understanding, our higher power. This is our 21st Century plague. Hello, Charles Darwin! COVID in aisle 12!! We are NOT amused. 

In Store Retail Therapy Is No Longer Therapeutic Thanks to COVID-19

 

It is no secret that I have indulged in retail therapy for decades in my quest to support the US economy (of course) and to give myself that little boost of joy that comes from shopping. During the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s I roamed the various shopping malls in Indianapolis, Plano, St.Louis, Dallas, Hong Kong, Chicago, Palo Alto, Northern Virginia and suburban Maryland. During my time in Plano, Texas I may have spent as much time at the recently demolished Collin Creek Mall as anywhere else in the vicinity. 

Over the last 15 years my love of malls disintegrated and I've migrated to boutiques and online shopping. After the gloriously independent department stores such as L.S. Ayres, Blocks, Lazarus, Marshall Fields, Foley's, Joske's, Woodward & Lothrop, Wanamaker's, Jordan Marsh, Famous-Barr, Sanger- Harris, Hechts, Strawbridge, I.Magnin, Filene's, Parisian, Gump's, Garfinkel's, and Jacobson's closed or were gobbled up by Federated and May Company,   the remaining or consolidated department stores all sold the same clothes and housewares.  And much of the merchandise on offer is of significantly lower quality, such as the  Tools of the Trade stainless steel pans I bought at Macy's (when it was really Macy's) in 1985 that I still use today.It is a big yawn. 

COVID-19 will change the retail landscape yet again. Here is a link to a Moneywise article detailing the retail establishments that are closing permanently as a result of the virus:    https://moneywise.com/a/chains-closing-the-most-stores-in-2020

After my experience this morning, which is the first time I've entered a store other than a grocery store, WalMart, Target, Petco, Lowes or Home Depot since March 14th, I plan to stick with online shopping. The store was packed with merchandise marked down 70% because customers had no place to wear new clothes over the summer (although I do dress professionally and wear makeup for Zoom calls). The dressing rooms are large, private, and could allow for one customer in every other cubicle; however, only one customer was allowed in the dressing rooms at a time. Only one cash register was open. It wasn't fun. It was frustrating. Instead of retail therapy, it was just one more inconvenient example of how drastically our world has changed since March. 

It appears as of the rules are applied inconsistently to different segments of the retail industry. Whole Foods in Indianapolis was buzzing with activity and minimal social distancing last week. But independent restaurants are prohibited from serving at their bars - even with stools separated by 6 feet. Boutiques are struggling. But state run liquor stores have remained open. 

So, I'll shop from my comfy leather chair with my cat on my shoulders and my laptop on my curled up legs while sipping ice tea or coffee or a nice Cabernet and wait eagerly for a delivery from FedEx, UPS or the USPS - instead of the Wells Fargo wagon of yore. At least my favorite local winery, Rappahannock Cellars,  offered free shipping during COVID ! https://www.rappahannockcellars.com/

Violence is Unacceptable in the USA

There is no legitimate excuse for the violence, burning, looting, destruction of property and intentional attacks on state, local and federal officers in our cities. The Constitution affords each citizen the right of assembly and peaceful protest. However, despite the rhetoric of liberal mayors, governors, media personalities, elected officials and activists, destruction of personal, municipal, state and federal property is a crime. Perpetrators should be prosecuted and ordered to pay restitution. 

I understand that people are angry about the death of George Floyd. I understand that everyone in America wants to be heard. I agree that racism is wrong, that there are lingering attitudes among individuals that are offensive, that there are some police officers that abuse authority, that there are still strides to be made for equality. However, we will not achieve equality, harmony, and fairness as long as there are any segregated groups, communities, pageants, congressional caucuses, quotas, census questions or focus on race, country of origin, religion, sexual orientation or any other label.

Despite the fact that I grew up in a small town in Indiana in the 1960s and 1970s that was not particularly diverse, my parents raised me to accept each person for who he or she was, to treat each person with respect, to be kind, and to not judge another until I’d walked a mile in his/her shoes. My husband and most of my friends were raised the same way. We cannot fathom that there is systemic racism in this country. Think about the progress that has been made and that will continue to be made. 

I’ve lived in countries where I was a minority and treated as such. I was a quota hire as a woman in the insurance industry in 1980. I want to believe that we Americans, collectively as a nation, do not subscribe to racism, discrimination, or judgments of people- unless the individual is an asshole. That is a different conversation. 

But really, give peace a chance. Open your minds. Consider opposing views. Have a conversation without shouting. Let go of anger. And become engaged in the political process at the local level. That is where serious changes begin. 

What’s In A Name? The Washington Football Team

Although I’ve lived in the Washington, DC area for 26 years, I’ve never developed an affection for the Washington Football Team, FKA the Washington Redskins. I’ve attended a few games at RFK Stadium and FedEx Field when gifted with FREE tickets; but I’ve never actually paid to see a game.  I will say that games at RFK we’re a lot more energetic and fun. Just getting to FedEx Field was enough of challenge that I actually declined FREE tickets in multiple occasions. 

It isn’t that I dislike professional football, although I prefer live games to watching on TV. I actually held season tickets for the Indianapolis Colts for several years before they had a successful season. Other than Darrell Green, who played years for Washington, the era of free agency destroyed any sense of team consistency and cohesiveness.

Based upon my history of apathy interspersed with active dislike, I really have no “ skin in the game” so to speak regarding the team name. Frankly, the entire decades long brouhaha is a bit mystifying. Somebody can find a way to make any name offensive. The team name and mascot was intended to honor the fierceness of Native American warriors and foster a winning spirit. 

But times have changed. The woke culture finds offense in the Betsy Ross Flag, Mount Rushmore, the Constitution, freedom of speech, and anybody who doesn’t vote for a democrat. 

With these thoughts in mind I’ve come up with several ideas 💡 for names to succeed the Redskins for the Washington Football 🏈 Team which more accurately represent the raison d’etre of our Nations Capital, which is alleged governance:

* The Legislators 

* The Witch-hunt 

* The Back Stabbers

* The Politicians / the mascot - a large rat

* The Swamp

* The Weasels

* The Do Nothings

* The Hypocrites 

* The Pork Barrels

* The Charlatans

* The Mighty Obstructionists

* The Sanctimonious 

* The Self- Righteous 

* The Partisans

* The Lobbyist / the mascot- a bag full of money 💰 

Well, at least I had a bit of self-amusement with this🤣

Celebrating My 61st Birthday

Today I am celebrating my 61st birthday. Just wow! How did this happen? It has been 51 years since Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the moon. It has been 40 years since I graduated from college and began my first job in the insurance claims industry; 35 years since my first wedding; 32 years since I moved to Asia and 27 years since I returned to the USA. I've lived on the east coast for 26 years and Virginia for 15. I've been at my current company for 18 1/2 years. Hopefully, if all goes accordingly, I can retire in 5 years.

My life has not followed the path I'd mapped out during those days of youthful dreaming when anything seemed possible, 30 was considered old, my career appeared to be on a soaring trajectory, I moved as a newlywed to Plano, Texas and began life far away from the Hoosier state where I was born, raised and yearned to see the world. I wanted to be somebody sophisticated, dine in fine restaurants, shop in elegant stores, amass jewelry and furs, drink wine from bottles with corks, experience urban excitement, find adventure, travel first class, wander the world and see the Terracotta warriors in Xian.

It is amazing to look back and consider that much of what I wanted to experience I've had the good fortune to achieve. However, the path that the roller coaster of fate and fortune caused me to follow nearly toppled me into an abyss on more than one occasion. I've experienced marital strife, an addicted spouse, divorce, dysfunctional relationships, heartache, career disappointment, financial challenges, adversity from my own stupid decisions, the loss of too many loved ones, and fear of never being "good enough". Fear of so many things over which I had no control.

Fortunately, by the age of 45, I met people who helped me discover the tools I needed to live a life of joy, gratitude, happiness, serenity, contentment, a focus on the positive, and a reevaluation of what is truly important in life. My marriage to an addict led me to Al Anon while I was living in Hong Kong. When I returned to the States, I continued to attend meetings. While it took me years to work the 12 Steps, the introspection, letting go of the past, and focusing on doing what is healthy for me changed my life. When I began working in Baltimore, one of my coworkers (Alice) introduced me to Doreen Virtue and Healing With The Angels. While I initially approached the studies with a bit of skepticism, I learned the power of spirituality, putting positive thoughts into the Universe, asking my angels for guidance, and....this led me to my husband of 14+ years, Todd Harrington. While it may by corny to say - he truly is the love of my life and we've celebrated the good fortune of meeting one another everyday for 15 1/2 years.  My yoga practice and rediscovered love of Pilates keep me physically fit. I've embraced therapeutic massage and acupuncture to manage stress.  I truly try each day to practice an attitude of gratitude for all of my good fortune.

The lessons I've learned on the path I hadn't intended to follow actually brought me to where I am today - a rocky ridge at the edge of the Shenandoah valley surrounded by refugee cats, possums,  wild turkeys and  evil plant eating deer. I'm relaxing on our screened in porch with a glass of Virginia Bordeaux style red wine, listening to our hosta-leaf water fountain, contemplating the amazing new experiences that I've been blessed to have over the last 15 years, and looking forward to the next 35 years.

Namaste, ya'll!

Great Summer Reads 2020

What better way to enjoy a summer under Covid-19 lockdown than a collection of books that I call ‘Mind Candy’! Mind Candy doesn’t focus on current events, social ills, serious literature, scholarly works, or anything heavy. Mind Candy does not include books that academics or snooty editors label as a  must read. And if the Washington Post Book World suggests I read it, the book is unlikely to be on my list. 

So, I am sharing my list of Mind Candy that I’ve recently  read plus a few that are stacked on the table next to my favorite reading chair. Enjoy with a bite of Theo’s 70% Dark Chocolate with Sea Salt & herbal tea.

* The Shadows  by Alex North

* Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine by Gail Honeyman         

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* The Last Time I Lied by Riley Sager

* No Exit by Taylor Adams

* A Nearly  or all Family by MT Edvardson

* The Reckless Oath We Made  y Bryan Greenwood

* The Chestnut Man. Y Siren Sveistrup

* Dear Edward  By Ann Napolitano

* The Sundown Motel by Simone St. James

* Hour of the Assassin by Matthew Quirk

* The Guest List by Lucy Foley

* The Last Flight by Julie ClarK

* The Dark Lake by Sarah Bailey

* Final Girls  by Riley Sager

* The Holdout. Y Graham Moore

* A Good Marriage by Kimberly McCreight

I find most of my new authors through Bookbrowse.com, Goodreads,  or the NEW Book of the Month Club. Next up for me is The Knockout Queen by Rufus Thorpe and Behind Her Eyes by Sarah Pinborough. 

I am also slowly savoring each chapter in The Brothers York, A Royal Tragedy  By Thomas Penn because for me anything Involving the Plantagenets is Mind Candy....a family that made Game of Thrones seem almost tame and peaceful. 

Please share any Mind Candy you can recommend. I’m always searching for something fun to read.

https://bookofthemonth.com/

https://www.bookbrowse.com/mag/

Bari Weiss’ Resignation From New York Times

I am urging every American who believes in the United States Constitution and Freedom of Speech to read Bari Weiss’s resignation letter to the NYT. I copied it from her personal website with a link to the site. She is to be commended and admired for her bravery, her ethics, her belief in the freedom of the press and her righteous abhorrence of the new McCarthyism. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

https://www.bariweiss.com/resignation-letter

Dear A.G.,

It is with sadness that I write to tell you that I am resigning from The New York Times. 

I joined the paper with gratitude and optimism three years ago. I was hired with the goal of bringing in voices that would not otherwise appear in your pages: first-time writers, centrists, conservatives and others who would not naturally think of The Times as their home. The reason for this effort was clear: The paper’s failure to anticipate the outcome of the 2016 election meant that it didn’t have a firm grasp of the country it covers. Dean Baquet and others have admitted as much on various occasions. The priority in Opinion was to help redress that critical shortcoming.

I was honored to be part of that effort, led by James Bennet. I am proud of my work as a writer and as an editor. Among those I helped bring to our pages: the Venezuelan dissident Wuilly Arteaga; the Iranian chess champion Dorsa Derakhshani; and the Hong Kong Christian democrat Derek Lam. Also: Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Masih Alinejad, Zaina Arafat, Elna Baker, Rachael Denhollander, Matti Friedman, Nick Gillespie, Heather Heying, Randall Kennedy, Julius Krein, Monica Lewinsky, Glenn Loury, Jesse Singal, Ali Soufan, Chloe Valdary, Thomas Chatterton Williams, Wesley Yang, and many others.

But the lessons that ought to have followed the election—lessons about the importance of understanding other Americans, the necessity of resisting tribalism, and the centrality of the free exchange of ideas to a democratic society—have not been learned. Instead, a new consensus has emerged in the press, but perhaps especially at this paper: that truth isn’t a process of collective discovery, but an orthodoxy already known to an enlightened few whose job is to inform everyone else.

Twitter is not on the masthead of The New York Times. But Twitter has become its ultimate editor. As the ethics and mores of that platform have become those of the paper, the paper itself has increasingly become a kind of performance space. Stories are chosen and told in a way to satisfy the narrowest of audiences, rather than to allow a curious public to read about the world and then draw their own conclusions. I was always taught that journalists were charged with writing the first rough draft of history. Now, history itself is one more ephemeral thing molded to fit the needs of a predetermined narrative.

My own forays into Wrongthink have made me the subject of constant bullying by colleagues who disagree with my views. They have called me a Nazi and a racist; I have learned to brush off comments about how I’m “writing about the Jews again.” Several colleagues perceived to be friendly with me were badgered by coworkers. My work and my character are openly demeaned on company-wide Slack channels where masthead editors regularly weigh in. There, some coworkers insist I need to be rooted out if this company is to be a truly “inclusive” one, while others post ax emojis next to my name. Still other New York Times employees publicly smear me as a liar and a bigot on Twitter with no fear that harassing me will be met with appropriate action. They never are.

There are terms for all of this: unlawful discrimination, hostile work environment, and constructive discharge. I’m no legal expert. But I know that this is wrong. 

I do not understand how you have allowed this kind of behavior to go on inside your company in full view of the paper’s entire staff and the public. And I certainly can’t square how you and other Times leaders have stood by while simultaneously praising me in private for my courage. Showing up for work as a centrist at an American newspaper should not require bravery.

Part of me wishes I could say that my experience was unique. But the truth is that intellectual curiosity—let alone risk-taking—is now a liability at The Times. Why edit something challenging to our readers, or write something bold only to go through the numbing process of making it ideologically kosher, when we can assure ourselves of job security (and clicks) by publishing our 4000th op-ed arguing that Donald Trump is a unique danger to the country and the world? And so self-censorship has become the norm.

What rules that remain at The Times are applied with extreme selectivity. If a person’s ideology is in keeping with the new orthodoxy, they and their work remain unscrutinized. Everyone else lives in fear of the digital thunderdome. Online venom is excused so long as it is directed at the proper targets. 

Op-eds that would have easily been published just two years ago would now get an editor or a writer in serious trouble, if not fired. If a piece is perceived as likely to inspire backlash internally or on social media, the editor or writer avoids pitching it. If she feels strongly enough to suggest it, she is quickly steered to safer ground. And if, every now and then, she succeeds in getting a piece published that does not explicitly promote progressive causes, it happens only after every line is carefully massaged, negotiated and caveated.

It took the paper two days and two jobs to say that the Tom Cotton op-ed “fell short of our standards.” We attached an editor’s note on a travel story about Jaffa shortly after it was published because it “failed to touch on important aspects of Jaffa’s makeup and its history.” But there is still none appended to Cheryl Strayed’s fawning interview with the writer Alice Walker, a proud anti-Semite who believes in lizard Illuminati. 

The paper of record is, more and more, the record of those living in a distant galaxy, one whose concerns are profoundly removed from the lives of most people. This is a galaxy in which, to choose just a few recent examples, the Soviet space program is lauded for its “diversity”; the doxxing of teenagers in the name of justice is condoned; and the worst caste systems in human history includes the United States alongside Nazi Germany.

Even now, I am confident that most people at The Times do not hold these views. Yet they are cowed by those who do. Why? Perhaps because they believe the ultimate goal is righteous. Perhaps because they believe that they will be granted protection if they nod along as the coin of our realm—language—is degraded in service to an ever-shifting laundry list of right causes. Perhaps because there are millions of unemployed people in this country and they feel lucky to have a job in a contracting industry. 

Or perhaps it is because they know that, nowadays, standing up for principle at the paper does not win plaudits. It puts a target on your back. Too wise to post on Slack, they write to me privately about the “new McCarthyism” that has taken root at the paper of record.

All this bodes ill, especially for independent-minded young writers and editors paying close attention to what they’ll have to do to advance in their careers. Rule One: Speak your mind at your own peril. Rule Two: Never risk commissioning a story that goes against the narrative. Rule Three: Never believe an editor or publisher who urges you to go against the grain. Eventually, the publisher will cave to the mob, the editor will get fired or reassigned, and you’ll be hung out to dry.

For these young writers and editors, there is one consolation. As places like The Times and other once-great journalistic institutions betray their standards and lose sight of their principles, Americans still hunger for news that is accurate, opinions that are vital, and debate that is sincere. I hear from these people every day. “An independent press is not a liberal ideal or a progressive ideal or a democratic ideal. It’s an American ideal,” you said a few years ago. I couldn’t agree more. America is a great country that deserves a great newspaper. 

None of this means that some of the most talented journalists in the world don’t still labor for this newspaper. They do, which is what makes the illiberal environment especially heartbreaking. I will be, as ever, a dedicated reader of their work. But I can no longer do the work that you brought me here to do—the work that Adolph Ochs described in that famous 1896 statement: “to make of the columns of The New York Times a forum for the consideration of all questions of public importance, and to that end to invite intelligent discussion from all shades of opinion.”

Ochs’s idea is one of the best I’ve encountered. And I’ve always comforted myself with the notion that the best ideas win out. But ideas cannot win on their own. They need a voice. They need a hearing. Above all, they must be backed by people willing to live by them. 

Sincerely,

Bari

The Declaration of Independence - Have You Read It?

 Over the long Independence Day Weekend I watched the musical 1776,  the mini series Sons of Liberty, and James Cagney as George M. Cohan in Yankee Doodle Dandy (which despite some offensive depictions that would not be acceptable in the 21st Century celebrates patriotism as few other films). We Americans must recapture our patriotism for this beautiful country. Despite its flaws, there is truly no other place on earth that affords its people even a scintilla of similar liberty. Those that dishonor our flag,  show disdain for our national anthem, and advocate for lawlessness denigrate the brave men who wrote and signed the Declaration, the farmers who fought for independence from the British, the representatives of the 13 Colonies that compromised on values to form a more perfect albeit not perfect union, the abolitionists, John Adams who argued the Amistad case, George Washington who inspired and led an army composed of volunteers, the black soldiers of the 1st Rhode Island, Connecticut and New Jersey units that fought in the Revolutionary War, Abe Lincoln, Frederick Douglas, John Brown, Harriet Tubman, the federal soldiers who fought and died in the Civil War, the 54th Massachusetts  unit of black volunteer soldiers, the American soldiers who fought in the wars of 1812, Mexican,  Spanish American, WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Granada, Afghan, and who serve our interests throughout the world. Read the document that set us on this path. And reconsider  your allegiance to this amazing land. 

In Congress, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America, When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.