Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Too Much Focus on Weddings – Instead of the Marriage

Too Much Focus on Weddings – Instead of the Marriage

Over the past 20 years there has been an increasing focus on a bride having a wedding fit for royalty and too little consideration given to life after the wedding.

The cost of such weddings has increased exponentially while the longevity of most marriages has decreased by similar degrees. Shows such as “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Four Weddings” place undo emphasis on the event itself as if each bride is competing for highest honors in excess.

Some of the problem originates with mothers of the bride who want the extravagant affairs they themselves dreamed of having.  Bridezillas go loco with hysteria over the dress, the decorations, the flowers, the favors, and feeling slighted if a guest fails to pay as much or more for the gift than the cost of the reception meal! Everything revolves around  “MY WEDDING”.

What happened to just celebrating the marriage of two people? The fact is most guests abhor formal receptions replete with the rubber chicken dinner at the ubiquitous reception hall or hotel banquet room where they are seated with other bored guests that hope there is an open bar or at least a cash bar so they can get through the event until the cake is cut and leave as quickly as possible. Nobody but the bride and the bride’s mother really cares about the dress (unless it is really ugly or tacky).  Bridesmaids hate having to pay to wear ugly dresses and shoes they cannot ever wear again.  Weddings for show have got to go!

Kudos to all of the couples young and not so young who have flouted the recent traditions of excessive showmanship and celebrated marriage on simpler terms, be it a wedding on the beach, before a justice of the peace, at City Hall, in a lovely garden, or on the terrace of an Italian villa with one’s 20 closest friends and family members in attendance.  Weddings should be personal expressions of love and commitment with only those one cares about – not displays of excess for the sheer purpose of collecting as many gifts as possible from an array of people that you wouldn’t invite to a BBQ!  Really – it is not about the presents! It is about a commitment to share one’s life with another human being.

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