A Lesson on What Actually Constitutes Genocide - Orhdruf Concentration Camp 1945

 

Photos Courtesy of the Dwight D. Eisenhower Presidential Library.

April 4, 1945, the U.S Army liberated Orhdruf Concentration Camp. This was a forced labor camp that was a part of the Buchenwald’s purview. 

General Patton refused to enter because it was so horrifying. General Eisenhower toured the camp on April 12th. He decided that it was critical to document the atrocities committed by the Nazis against Jews.

Any American student, resident, visitor, citizen, member of Congress, employee of government or University or business or news outlet that defends the atrocities of Hamas against Israeli citizens, visitors, contractors, civilians or foreigners has apparently been denied a thorough education. 

More than 6 million Jews were murdered by the Nazis. Israel was founded to give Jewish people a home, where they could be free of oppression. 

Regrettably, too many have forgotten the pledge to NEVER FORGET.

You’ve Got To Be Carefully Taught How To Hate~ Who Taught The Cornell Professors & Antisemitic Students Protesting?

https://www.politico.com/news/2023/10/30/cornell-antisemitism-colleges-00124346

Peaceful protest is an American right protected by the Constitution. Inciting violence against any group of people or individual is not. 

Protesting the killing of Palestinian civilians is protected speech. Calling for the death of Jews or Israeli people is not. 

It is clear that the education system in the United States of America has failed at its most critical duty…which is to teach young people how to read, write, perform basic mathematics, learn basics of American and world history and develop critical thinking skills. 

What is most concerning is the fact that students and professors at ‘so-called’ elite universities and colleges are so under-educated in fundamental knowledge. It appears as if ‘elite’ in the 21st Century equates to ‘expensive’, not necessarily ‘excellent’ at conveying information that one needs to live peacefully in a civilized world.

James Michener won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in 1948 for his Tales of the South Pacific, a collection of stories about the Pacific campaign of World War II from his observations while serving in the US Navy. These stories reflect the prejudices of people encountering those from South Pacific native peoples. In the play titled South Pacific, based loosely on theses stories, Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein include a song by one of the characters, Lt. Cable, about people raised to hate those who are different. 

https://rodgersandhammerstein.com/song/south-pacific/youve-got-to-be-carefully-taught/

Anyone who espouses hate for Jewish people and the state of Israel for defending the right to exist have been carefully taught all of the wrong things by ignorant teachers, parents, administrators, friends, propaganda and ivory tower professors who could not survive outside the confines of academia.

Every vociferous protestor should be compelled to visit one of the haunting Holocaust museums, read  Elie Wiesel’s NIGHT, and watch Schindler’s List directed by Stephen Spielberg. 

During my formative years, we were taught NEVER AGAIN. What happened!

Daughters of Shandong by Eve Chung

Resilient Women in a Patriarchal World
Daughters of Shandong is a must read for fans of Wild Swans, Peach Blossom Spring, and books by Lisa See and Amy Tan. This story celebrates the strength & resiliency of women who were 'less than' because of having been born female. Even today, sons are preferred in China & Taiwan. 

Having been privileged to live in Taiwan & Hong Kong and spoken to survivors of WWII and the Civil War between the communists and Nationalists, these stories are critical to our understanding of the past as well as the current political challenges facing ROC from PRC. I moved to Taipei in 1988, just after Chiang Ching Kuo died and martial law was lifted. Filial piety was still expected. Since that time women in Taiwan have triumphed in society and government. Loved this book! 

Thanks to BookBrowse and BerkleyBooks  for a chance to read an Advance Readers Copy in exchange for an honest review.

 https://www.bookbrowse.com/reader_reviews/index.cfm/ezine_preview_number/18178/daughters-of-shandong#reader_reviews

For the Good of the Country, Please Dump Trump & Biden

 

My fellow Americans, it is time to make intelligent decisions about our nations future. Donald Trump is a toxic, self centric narcissist who has damaged our reputation throughout the world. Joe Biden is a charlatan who has used his political positions for personal financial gain. Neither candidate is worthy of representing this great nation either domestically or on the world stage.

Why do the career politicians in Congress continue to support these has-beens? What is the basis for the fear that causes each to kowtow to the political machines that argue for their prominence? What happened to the America that heard and believed FDR when he said the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. What happened to the Americans who celebrated when JFK asked us to consider not what the country could do for us, but what we can do for our country?

The Democrats shudder in fear and allow members of the squad, the progressives, and loudest media savvy politicians to create the narratives. The Republicans quake in fear of offending Donald Trump and his acolytes. 

Call them on it! Don’t let the extremists win! Do the right thing for America!!!!!

George Orwell’s 1984 Should Be Required Reading For Wanna Be Socialists In 2023

 

Last night I started reading a new book for my online book club through BookBrowse.Com, titled  1984 Julia by Sandra Newman. I’ve been a BookBrowse member for years and appreciate the occasional privilege of receiving a pre-publication galley in exchange for an honest review or a book with interesting themes to participate in the online book club.

1984 Julia is a retelling of George Orwell’s prescient classic from the perspective of Julia,  with approval of the George Orwell Estate. In just the first chapter, it is abundantly evident that Ms. Newman has captured the dystopian themes of the totalitarian society of Oceania and Big Brother so brutally & disconcertingly portrayed. 

In the first 18 pages of Julia 1984 the theme of Orwell are mind numbing. Julia works in the Ministry of Truth. The employees are compelling to attend The Hate where everyone must express HATE against anyone that opposed The Party.

Even one chapter gave me chills as the extreme right and extreme left seek to nullify people with middle of the road, common sense ideals.

The elites of Academia, the propaganda orchestrator of the press and political class, the hate mongers, those who advocate disregard for citizens of the world based upon country of origin or religion, those who have failed to study world history, those who have been brainwashed by socialist institutions that allege to propagate higher learning have FAILED in every way to support what is historically considered a liberal education.

Hate is unacceptable. Prejudice is unacceptable. Supporting any state that supports terrorists is wrong. Blaming the victim is wrong. Supporting genocide is incomprehensible. Idiotic ill-informed, undereducated, lightweight, proponents of killing must be marginalized. Consequences should be real. 

Read Orwell. He predicted today based upon the totalitarianism of his time. Just say no. Refuse to be indoctrinated. Teach moderation, consensus, compromise, compassion, acceptance, awareness, respect, rejection of prejudice, consideration of the people in the place and time of history, learn not to judge unless you’ve walked a mile in another’s shoes. 

No Room for Hate ~ Remember The Holocaust

 

America was founded on the principles of tolerance. After World War II Americans and the world saw that  the Nazis, hate and the vilification of the Jewish people resulted in the annihilation of millions of innocent people. 

The world said ‘never again’. But, the world has forgotten. The world has forgotten the atrocities of the Nazis. The world has forgotten the genocide of the Jewish. The world has forgotten the camps of Auschwitz, Bergen Belsen and Treblinka. The world has apparently forgotten that at the conclusion of WWII the Allies agreed to establish a space of land for Jewish people to live free of the threat of death squads. 

Yes, Palestinian people were displaced. I know families that were driven from their homes. That was ill-advised and wrong. But, there was no ideal solution. The decision was made by the major prevailing powers to establish a Jewish state. This was no more disruptive than the results of wars throughout history. But this decision has resulted in 75 years of continued unrest or war. 

Not withstanding the legitimate concerns of the Palestinian people, Hamas does not represent them. Hamas represents itself and uses  Palestinian people as pawns in its reign of terror. Hamas does not seek a solution for the residents of Gaza, the West Bank, Lebanon, Egypt or other Arab states. Instead Hamas, under the direction of Iran, seeks destabilization of the Middle East to eradicate western influence and the Jewish people. It is a Holocaust redux. Inexcusable. Abhorrent. Disgusting. Against the laws of nature and any reasonable religion.

And the American students demonstrating in support of Hamas must be the products of of a failed liberal education. I applaud the executives of major employers who refuse to employ the misguided zealots that decry the right of Israel to exist. One must wonder if they’ve ever submitted DNA for testing. It is my guess a significant number have Jewish blood and would have been eliminated in the Nazi purges. It only took a nominal percentage of Jewish blood. 

Please, decry the hate filled hearts of the Squad and their minions. We are better than that, at least that iscwhatvInwant to believe.

No Excuses~ Hamas Attack on Israel

 

There are no excuses by any group, political entity, university organization, religious order, state or individual who celebrates the slaughter of civilians. As an American I am horrified by the student groups at Harvard, Columbia, NYU and members of the “Squad” who argue that the acts of Hamas can be justified in any way, shape or form. The degradation of any people is abhorrent. Those who continue in their antisemitism should be vilified by any human being with an iota of compassion for humanity. In our modern world of mixed race and religion, it is more likely than not that we are all part of the mixology that defies compartmentalization by color, religion, race or country of origin. None of us can claim “purity” of genealogy of background. Essential, most of us are mutts. Get over it. 

Accept it. There is no such animal as a pure blooded human unless that person originated in a remote tribe that has not assimilated into modern society. Hamas made the decision to annihilate anyone who may have traveled to Israel to study, visit friends or family, explore the country that gave birth to more than one religion, to do business, to visit holy sites. 

The assault against civilians by Hamas qualifies them as the lowest form of life. Those of the animal kingdom kill only for food. Only humans kill for sport. Any group that supports these troglodytes should be marginalized by humankind.

I applaud the CEOs of American companies that have pledged to “file 13” any job applicants that belonged to organizations supporting Hamas. These university students are not “ children”. Kudos to those who stand for their principles and hold our young adults to a high standard. Shame to Harvard, Columbia, NYU, Stanford and all of the “woke” alleged institutions of higher learning that abrogate the rights of free speech unless it is leftist propaganda. 

Beheading Babies & Executing Elderly is NOT Okay

 Yes, I get it. Israel is not a state without flaws. There are nuances to questions regarding the establishment of a Palestinian state, the treatment of Palestinian people by Israel in Gaza and historical disagreements that span millennia. But, there is no possible argument to support the slaughter of innocent civilians. Hamas, Hezbollah, the rogue state of Iran exist in an environment of hate that has no explanation.

What I was a university student studying abroad, I had the privilege of sharing my life with students from Jordan, Iran, Iraq, Bahrain, Oman, China, countries of Europe and Turks. As students we realized that what we had in common was humanity in an imperfect world. The year was 1979. The student in Iran occupied the US embassy in Tehran. It was painful for Americans and for the Iranian students who could not contact their loved ones.

Since that tenuous time, Iran has morphed into a rogue state that denigrates women, kills dissidents, holds foreigners hostage for political gain, actively supports terrorists that seek to eradicate Israel and the west, tries to disrupt political alliances, and subjugates its citizens in the misguided name of Allah. 

Studies of world religions will show that the higher power of the world’s great religions advocate peace, kindness, and acceptance of our fellow human beings rather than hate, oppression, war, abuse of power, murder and fomenting discontent. I do not believe that the Koran teaches followers to murder in the name of God anymore than I believe the God of Christianity would have encouraged the Crusaders of the Middle Ages to eradicate those with different beliefs ap during that era.

People have too often employed, wrongly, their religious beliefs throughout human existence to vilify, eradicate, torture, enslave, crush, destroy, marginalize, martyr, eliminate or otherwise erase those with differing beliefs instead of seeking common ground.

The biggest disappointment for me is understanding that we are allegedly enlightened citizens of the 21st century.  Apparently we have, as a people, learned nothing from our collective history. How can that be? 

Condemning Iran, Hamas, Harvard Students & The Squad

 

Any individual, organization or state that supports the atrocities perpetrated by Hamas and Iran against Israeli citizens must be denounced, cancelled, excoriated, vilified, ostracized,  condemned and humiliated. We cannot silence them because the Constitution of the United States of America affords them the right to freedom of speech, a right that must be defended. What is unconscionable is the fact that individuals enjoying the privileges of citizenship, legal residency or student visas believe that people of sovereign nations should not enjoy the same right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness that we in America too often fail to appreciate.

How can any human being with an iota of intelligence, compassion, integrity, humanity or sense of dignity applaud the atrocities committed by Hamas and Iran?  These reprobates celebrate the murders and kidnappings of innocent civilians including Holocaust survivors, children, the disabled, young people enjoying a festival or civilians asleep in their beds. 

Any person who disavows the principles of the US Constitution should depart the great country post haste. Leave and spread your hate elsewhere. The members of “The Squad” should resign from Congress and crawl back into the caves from which they emerged with their hate, disdain for all that is good in America, their immature and uneducated views of the world, their prejudices, and their failure to appreciate that we the people are overall honest, open, kind, generous, compassionate, welcoming, respectful people that abhor the baser instincts of the human condition. If you belong to one of the individuals, states, political groups or organizations that celebrate the invasions of Israel and Ukraine, you should feel shame for believing it is okay to laud the slaughter of innocents, of vacationers, of babies, of young people on the precipice of adulthood, of young couples, of children, of the aged who survived prior wars, of those with divergent religious beliefs or political affiliation. 

YOU are the PROBLEM.

Yes, the American political culture is divided. That was actually the intent of those who founded our great nation. There have been huge arguments about the future of the USA since John Adams and Thomas Jefferson opposed one another for the presidency. But, we as a people survived. Let us hope that we the people can repel the disgusting people that endeavor to crush this great republic by supporting terrorists, rogue nations and dictators. Do not let the ne’er do-wells win. Stand up for what is right and just. Live up to tour duty as an American to support freedom wherever it may be found. 

Nostalgia ~ Sirius XM ~ The Bridge

 

Yes, my music taste runs the gamut from renaissance to gothic to classical orchestral to Gilbert & Sullivan to opera to Stravinsky to Aaron Copeland to Big Band to New Orleans Jazz to early R&B to Elvis to classical guitar to movie themes to rock or new wave or grunge or alternative to singer songwriter to blue grass. Ultimately, I love music in its many iterations. But, notwithstanding my appreciation for Mozart’s REQUIEM or Stravinsky’s Firebird or Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue or Rachmaninov’s piano concertos or swing or blues…I feel nostalgia for the music of my youth. 

Thanks to Apple Music and The Bridge on Sirius XM I can reminisce while driving, listening to The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Kansas, Bread, Boz Skaggs, Linda Ronstadt, Carole King, Simon & Garfunkel, Gerry Rafferty, ELO and recall times of my youth that bring me fond memories.

Music is part of the soul. The music of Chicago brings me back to my freshman year in high school. Donna Summer, my college years, the themes to Apocalypse Now..the end of my school days. How cathartic to think of these tunes as a microcosm of time, of a place in my history, of wonderful memories. Thankful for the ease of linking my past with my current self. This is one of the absolute glories of 21st century life.

Body Positivity Should Not Require A Lack Of Self Dignity

We should all appreciate, love and dress for the bodies we currently inhabit and be grateful for eyes that see, legs that help us ambulate, arms that are able to reach or move our conveyances, hands that can grasp, skin that breathes and covers our bodies no matter the size, physical challenges, mental struggles, or current fashion. 

However,  those who encourage young women to dress in clothes that are unflattering just for the sake of embracing body positivity are doing a disservice. There is a time and a place for sexy, revealing, skimpy, tight, micro short, revealing, sheer, exhibitionist fashion. Alleged celebrities who desperately seek media attention should not be emulated at the supermarket, Walmart, SCHOOLS, houses of worship, museums, libraries, fine dining establishments, commercial airlines, or any place where decorum should be considered.

I don’t care what one’s BMI, weight, size, socioeconomic environment, geographic region may be, but look in the mirror….a full length mirror. Ask yourself, are you dressing like a sex worker because you truly thing you look great? Or do you crave crave attention? Want to fit in? Want to shock someone? Want to annoy your mother? Do you want to copy one of the reality TV, TikTok, or Instagram influencers? 

There are plenty of celebrities or fashion icons that dress appropriately and still look alluring, sexy and cutting edge while not exposing every inch of skin. Rihanna can wear anything because she’s Rihanna. The rest of us….not so much. Look at Pinterest 💙

Not Ready For 2024 Presidential Politics ~ The Reality Impacts My Serenity

 

I am thoroughly disgusted with the political establishment and the segment of the American electorate that continues to blindly support former President Trump and the mentally incapacitated current President Biden into the abyss. The concept of these two geriatric chuckleheads sparring in the media and at the polls for the next 14 months makes me want to hibernate and avoid all news sources to maintain a semblance of peace & serenity. Well, I take the NYT only to play Wordle and Spelling Bee. I click on the Daily Mail because for mind candy. But, we haven’t watched the news, debates, read about the candidates latest exploits, and even decline to discuss the matter when out with live humanoids. We are not the only formerly politically engaged Americans to opt out. If these two has beens are the candidates, I will not even be able to hold my nose and votes for the lesser of the boll weevils. Nope. Not gonna do it. Wouldn’t be prudent. 

Instead, I will celebrate that my 91 year old dad is still vibrant. I will enjoy our menagerie of cats. I will sit on my screened in porch, surrounded by plants, listening to the fountain on the deck, reading books or listening to music, sharing adult beverages with my spousal unit, thanking the Universe that having to pay for bilateral cataract surgery, a new car and a gold plated heating & air conditioning system didn’t send us to the food bank.

Seriously, I’ve been handling wrongful death and catastrophic injury claims in the insurance industry for decades. It is less stressful than listening to or watching or reading the news. 

After 17 Years of Gardening ~our Property Remains a Moonscape in Progress

 

To look at this view of our property, one would think we had created an oasis on the rocky ridge in rural Frederick County, Virginia. That assumption would be woefully incorrect. Despite 17 years of toil; pouring thousands of dollars and hours of sweat equity into attempts to cultivate the landscape;  the shrubs, flowers, trees and countless seedlings planted with great optimism only to find withered, shriveled, leafless, blighted remains by the end of a season; we have adjusted our expectations. Now, we focus just on the areas we can view from our deck. 

There have been successes: Japanese maple trees, bearded Iris, peonies, weigela, and hostas close to the house.

Lessons learned: wisteria was a very bad idea. It destroyed the porch railings…even the American plants. Mint must stay in a pot. Deer LOVE day lilies. Roses hate our environment. We want vinca to spread like an invasive bamboo. 

Tomatoes……I keep trying. This year: cylindrical grow bags placed in the sun amidst the moonscape. They are always the most expensive tomatoes we eat each year😆 

But, I find gardening and landscaping therapeutic. My regular job is stressful. Any position in corporate America is stressful thanks to COVID, post COVID return to office policies that make recruiting challenging, DEI, continuing to do more with less, the unfathomable jury verdicts, declining ethics of plaintiff attorneys and politicians and mental exhaustion. 

So….scratching out a spot for planting seeds, spreading bags of mulch, digging in the dirt, stalling the potted flowers on the deck, and gazing at the tiny slice of an oasis in the midst of our desert brings peace, serenity and a feeling of accomplishment…even if some of the efforts are less than desired.

Americans Need a Candidate to Vote FOR Instead of AGAINST

 Political pundits and media outlets forget that Donald Trump won the 2016 presidential election because he was NOT Hillary Clinton. Joe Biden was elected in 2020 because he was NOT Donald Trump. For 2024 I do not want to have to choose between the lesser of two awful candidates. It is time to marginalize these unfit candidates, stop pandering to the extremism on the right and left, and choose two candidates that actually have the welfare of the American people at the forefront, do not offend 50% of the voters because of obnoxious self interest or lack of cognitive dissonance or cognitive function. 

The American political arena has always been divisive. That was actually the intent of the founders of the Republic. The only President elected without dissent was George Washington. Think about it! Even the Continental Congress fought over the Articles of Confederation followed by the Constitution. It was nearly impossible to find agreement among the representatives of 13 colonies much less 50 states.

But we deserve better than what the primary system has produced in recent history. The primary elections and caucuses pander to the hard core right or left. But, elections are won or lost based upon the tolerance of those of us in the center, who loathe extremes, who believe in the rights of the people to live freely without onerous regulation, who agree that contribute to the common good through reasonable taxation is acceptable, who dislike being forced to pay for  projects or appropriations that do not benefit the entire nation, who truly agree that all persons have a right to live their lives without oppression, but do not believe that ideology should trump common sense. It is time to replace the septuagenarians and activists with a new generation of ideas. It is time to reflect on our similarities instead of differences. 

Republicans and  Democrats, please give us a choice that doesn’t force independent voters to hold their noses, close their eyes, cringe and pick the least awful candidate and hope for a not terrible outcome. 

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”― Nelson Mandela

The Long Ago by Michael McGarrity

 I read The Long Ago in one day. I waffled between  rating the book ‘good’ or ‘very good’ and decided that while the story has some predictability and a few slow parts, overall, I loved the themes of loyalty, ties that bind, that family isn’t necessarily biology, and the role of fate. 

Perhaps The Long Ago resonated with me so much because the story takes place during the earliest days of the war ( AKA ‘conflict’) in Vietnam, when I was a child. It fueled memories war correspondents on the 6 O’clock news. Ray Lansdale joined the Army to escape from his dysfunctional childhood in rural Montana. His sister Barbara ran away as well. During a leave from the Army, Ray embarks on a search for his sister the old fashioned way….paper trails, interviews with people, missing persons posters, police assistance, like gum shoes before cellphones and the Internet. 

The Long Ago is a mixture of intrigue, family dynamics, romance, and just a little bit of Mickey Mouse. Now, I want to read some of Michael McGarrity’s earlier works. 

Thanks to Bookbrowse.Com and WW Norton & Company for a free ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Publishes July 2023

So, Now I Have Cataracts

 

At least 15 years ago I had Lasic surgery with Dr. Andrew Holzman, one of the most respected Lasic practitioners in the country. He transitioned me from nearly blind to 20/15 in both eyes. It was a miracle. Retrogression is very unusual with Lasic. So, it was with a modicum of alarm that I began to notice deteriorating vision just around 2018 or 2019. It was just before COVID.

I had an examination and discovered my vision had devolved to 20/30 in each eye. A year later there was more retrogression. In 2022, it was within 6 months that I could no longer see chalkboard menses or watch television. I called to schedule an appointment before my annual eye exam. But I was told to wait for my regular appointment. 

By the time of my exam, my vision impairment had doubled. I was almost as impaired as I’d been in 2007. What! 

After a few tests with dilation, I was told I had cataracts on both eyes. This explained the halos, poor night vision, blurry Vaseline filtered sight, speedy deterioration. I said I wanted to consult with an ophthalmologist for a surgical consult. And, I was really annoyed! I thought cataracts were for OLD people! That is NOT me!

My Journey With Real Life Style- Alterations

One of the biggest eye-openers during the initial closet edit involved my realization  that minor alterations to some of my clothes would make such a significant difference, resulting in a much more flattering garment. Raising a hemline of a dress by an inch lengthened my legs. Hemming trousers to wear with a specific shoe or heel height changed the look entirely. 

Lani showed my the way replacing shoulder pads in a jacket or dress elevated the look. And I learned that my good fortune in being born with an appropriate ankle curve makes everything look better! This is not something I’d ever considered. 

While I’d often heard that a good tailor is your best friend, I’d really not considered taking the time to alter off the rack clothes so they would fit me  better. Again, I thought that was for the rich and famous. But it makes sense. I’d created a toile and used a dress form to ensure my Civil War wardrobe fit perfectly. Why did I not realize that my 21st Century clothing should fit as well as my 19th Century wardrobe! 

Because I had to experience sewing I made the decision to complete my on alterations. If I was able to make a  Civil War  era taffeta boned evening bodice, fashion a spoon  bonnet and sew a double lined ankle length camel hair coat from a 1954 Vogue pattern, surely I could manage my own alterations. 

Consequently, I have set about hemming my trousers and dresses, taking up the shoulders on some tops, and updating the fit on the items Lani pinned. And I’ve completed nearly two thirds on my projects. What a feeling of accomplishment! 

And I’ve completed the work while enjoying true crime podcasts! 

The Journey With Real Life Style ~ After The Initial Closet Edit

 

A second session was scheduled to take place via Zoom on March 1st during which time Lani and Kyle would guide me through the process of editing my summer clothes, shoes and handbags. 

But almost immediately I felt compelled to begin my own preliminary review based upon what I’d already learned about colors that definitely did not work for my 2023 self. I was able to immediately determine that two of my shawls ( peach and berry) needed to go, as well as some swimwear, ballets flats and linen dresses. 

I was also able to sort through some bins on the floor and top shelf of my closet and move the ‘keepers’ into now empty drawers. I’d not felt to organized in decades.

The impact of the initial edit and organization was immediate. The very next morning, as I walked into my closet, I found it much easier to get dressed. I pulled out a pair of my MM LaFleur Oshima pants that I hadn’t worn since before the COVID epidemic (because I forgot I owned them), pulled on  one of my easily accessible top, and paired it with my newly styled Merritt Jardigan  and was ready to face my Zoom meeting feeling completely comfortable. 

I had previously had so many arguably lovely items stuffed to the gills that I had no idea what I had or how to put things together. Instead, I would walk in the closet and just feel frustrated, thinking I had nothing to wear. 

Now that my focus is on curating and keeping the best of the best, I feel liberated.

My Initial Wardrobe Edit With Real Life Style

 Catharsis! As defined  (in  part) by Merriam -Webster as a purification that brings about spiritual renewal.

The morning of February 23, 2023 Lani Inlander and Kyle Dunphy with Real Life Style arrived at my home in Winchester, Virginia with a rolling clothes rack, trash bags, safety pins, labels, shoulder pads, cameras and a keen fashion sense to begin the initial edit of my wardrobe for my journey to a new stylish Vivian. 

We began the process with the clothes hanging in my well organized but overflowing closet. I needed to try on everything to develop an appreciation of my best silhouette, fit, colors, sleeve length, hem length, shoulders, shoulder pads, distracting details, rise, where the buttons are situated for a jacket, trim, whether jeans bag in the belly when one walks, what shoes work, type of neck on tops, whether an item accentuated the wrong features of my body, and if a piece was just okay or fabulous. At 63, I deserve fabulous. 

Certain words caused me to cringe. Really, is there any word more offensive to a ‘woman of a certain age’ than MATRONLY? I would rather one denigrate my honor, my family, my cats, my sense of humor and my professional reputation than call me MATRONLY! Yikes! That resulted in my tossing an entire drawer of what I previously considered pseudo flattering merino wool cardigans. 

When we reached the skirt category, my beloved friend piled on. While Lani and Kyle considered ways to style a selection of easy care, cotton knot, maxi skirts, my friend Gina vociferously argued NO!  NO! Be gone with you! So, out they went into the donation bags. 

At the end of the day, 12 trash bags were filled with items that no longer served who I am in 2023. Certain colors…specifically peach, orange, bright pink coral, burgundy, merlot, most pastels, dusty gray and anything “busy” ended up on the cutting room floor. If it didn’t say ‘elevated sophisticated’ I said goodbye. I thought the deselection of certain cashmere sweaters might cause a bit of angst, but it did not.

After 6 1/2 hours a the grueling wardrobe extravaganza, I felt at peace. Lani & Kyle took the bags of discards with them so I wouldn’t have the opportunity to reclaim any of the rejects. Those clothes were donated to charity the next morning.

Gina and I celebrated the fashion success  for me and her new fabulous professional opportunity by splitting a delicious bottle of Greenhill Winery Blanc  de Blanc, the best sparkling wine Virginia has to offer. 

https://experiencegreenhill.com/

Next steps ~ Stay tuned😎

Engaging A Personal Stylist~The Selection ~Real Life Style

 

After my initial 45 minute telephone interview with Lani Inlander, the owner of Real Life Style in Washington, DC, I knew I’d found the solution to my overwhelming wardrobe challenges. It was clear she appreciated what I wanted to accomplish. I was impressed with her resume and the depth of knowledge the team at Real Life Style brought to the table.

It is not a particular secret that I love to shop. The dopamine rush I feel when finding a treasure online, in a brick & mortar store, or in an alley in Asia makes my heart sing. But, this tendency to make purchases of clothing, shoes, handbags, and accessories resulted in a stuffed closet and overflowing drawers and bins with no concept how to create outfits that fit who I am today, in 2023. My out of control purchasing has no doubt delayed my ability to retire for at least a couple of years…combined, of course, with my appreciation for dry red wine and delightful sparkling whites.

Lani came up with a preliminary plan, which she emailed to me with an invoice, to reserve the date for she and her partner, Kyle Dunphy, to journey to the hinterland to analyze my wardrobe. It was set for Thursday, February 23rd. 

I was so excited about this event that I invited my friends Gina and Missi to join us and see the process as it unfolded. 

In the next episode I will detail what was truly an epic event in my style journey. I made an intentional decision to approach the process with an open mind, fully prepared to listen to the experts and let go of what no longer served me. The prospect was exciting and daunting. Stay tuned!

The link to the Real Life  Style website:

https://real-life-style.com/about/   

Engaging A Personal Stylist- The Search

Since Winchester, Virginia is not renowned as a fashion Mecca, I knew that I would need to investigate personal stylists and fashion consultants based in the Washington, DC metropolitan area. While not ideal for me from a logistical perspective, there were really no other viable options. The distance is approximately 90 miles and with that, commensurate cost increases for travel time. However, I decided if I were to take the plunge, I wanted the best consultants I could find for my price point.

I conducted my preliminary investigation via Google and located several consultants that seemed like viable options. Primarily, I was looking for stylists that felt approachable, have a verifiable history and footprint, multiple reviews by customers, free vetting by phone or Zoom, and in- person wardrobe analysis. An in-home closet edit was a non-negotiable requirement.

This is not an overnight process. The investigation, interviews and scheduling took about 6-8 weeks for the first meeting.

I’ve posted a few photos to show just a bit of my pre-edit sweater collection.

An Everyday Woman Engaging a Personal Stylist

 

Personal stylists are for royalty, celebrities, power brokers, and politicians seeking to appeal to voters, right? A-listers, B-listers or wannabes- not 63 year old insurance claims professionals with an eye towards retirement! While I loved the many seasons of What Not To Wear when Stacey & Clinton played fairy godmother to an unsuspecting fashion disaster, helping to transform Cinderella from dowdy to fabulous in a week, it never occurred to me to hire a style consultant to help me curate my wardrobe and create outfits that would take my style from fairly good to fabulous.

But during our post Christmas mini vacation, my husband suggested that I explore utilizing a stylist to help me refine my style and ‘kick it up a notch’.

It did take a bit of time to contemplate moving forward. After all, it is not an inexpensive endeavor. 

Ultimately, following a cost/benefit analysis, I decided that I could save money by refining my style, learning how to make outfits with items I already own, develop an appreciation for what styles, colors and silhouettes work for me, and identify WHAT NOT TO BUY! 

Essentially, I wanted the equivalent of the nuns in elementary school telling me Do Not Talk During Fire Drills. Walk away from the peach hued sweater! Give me a list of flattering colors and provide guidelines.

I’ve already learned one thing….no more cotton tees needed!

I will share additional aspects of this journey in additional posts. 

Namaste 

The Angel Maker by Alex North / Book Review

 

Because I loved The Whisper Man, I was thrilled to receive an ARC of The Angel Maker courtesy of Celadon Books and NetGalley. The premise is fascinating. Is our destiny pre-determined or do we have the opportunity to change it by exercising free will? Serial killer John Locke wrote obsessively on the topic. After his arrest, his writings disappear as do his two sons: one who participated in his father’s hobbies and the other who did not. 

This story is juxtaposed with a contemporary story involving Katie Shaw, married mother of the precious toddler, Siena, who is pulled into the search for her estranged brother Chris, an addict who never recovered psychologically from a random attack when he was a young teen. 

The multiple story lines weave from distant past, to the current day murder of a beloved philosophy professor to flashbacks to the attack on Chris. 

The book, which feels part police procedural, part mystery, party family dysfunction and part thriller never truly gels for me. There are too many non linear pieces that don’t fully create a cohesive story. While I truly enjoyed The Angel Maker, it did not leave me feeling satisfied, that the many loose ends ultimately worked, or left me wanting more.

Mainstreaming Children With Behavioral Problems Has Destroyed American Public Schools

 

Once upon a time children with behavioral problems were kicked out of public schools. They were sent to reform school, juvenile detention, military school, or a mental health facility where their violent behavior did not result in harm to other students, teachers or administrators. But in the 21st Century, the bullies, mentally disturbed, psychologically unbalanced and behavioral problems are protected by social activists, administrators that care more about money and/ or image than safety, panderers, woke ideology, and society focused on the misguided belief that public education should be available to all. 

A public school education should use the tax dollars of citizens to educate those who have an ability to learn, the social skills needed to act civilized in a group setting, and the appreciation of what is right and what is wrong.

The evidence that has been uncovered regarding the first grader who shot his teacher in  a Chesapeake, Virginia primary school is horrifying. The school administrators allowed a violent, disruptive, disturbed child to attend school in a classroom with children he was tormenting, bullying and threatening. Students in his class were not in a safe learning space. Administration personnel knew he was a problem, but let him attend classes with a parent. What an utter failure! The kid should not have been allowed across the threshold of the playground. 

What about the teachers and administrators in the New Jersey school that allowed four other students to kick and beat with a water bottle another student! What, and the superintendent tried to blame the child’s father for giving other young people an excuse to bully? 

Why did nobody stop the horrible behavior? In either case? Perhaps it is time for responsible adults to stand up, fight back, take the asylum back from the lunatics, believe teachers, institute a process for disciplining those who deserve it, and get back to teaching the basics: reading, writing (including penmanship), arithmetic (without laptops or calculators), civics, history, geography, grammar, spelling, and vocabulary. It wouldn’t hurt to include music, art, home economics, industrial arts, and respect for fellow humans. 

If we weren’t forced to attempt to educate the uneducable, those tax dollars collected could be put to far better use. Instead, many classrooms just provide free babysitting for parents. 

The Hypocrisy of the Duke & Duchess of Sussex

 

One would have to have been stranded on an uncharted island to be unfamiliar with the media frenzy pertaining to the grievances of the Duke & Duchess of Sussex. One would think they’d been stripped of their titles, cast adrift with nary a cent, forced to panhandle for spare change at random off ramps in a California while living in a tent city under an overpass- all while professing how they live a selfless life of service whilst filled with fear over random acts of violence merely because of their celebrity.

Apparently, this duo fail to appreciate the number of billionaires, multi millionaires, A-List celebrities, scions of other royal families, and children of other high profile persons who live within the state of California.

By virtue of my job over the last 40 years, not to mention media, I am well aware that there are residents of LA, Santa Barbara, San Diego, San Francisco, Silicon Valley, Mountain View, Brentwood, Malibu, Palo Alto and numerous other enclaves that have more money, higher profiles, better credentials, greater philanthropy, more visibility, are more controversial and are are more likely to be targets of violence than these two who apparently feel compelled to tell everyone just how oppressed, service oriented and at risk they are in their compound. 

Dialogue from The Scottish Play comes to mind regarding he/she/they/its protest too much. Consider these individuals who live in the USA who have far more assets than Team Sussex, engender more publicity but support world wide charities yet do not complain:  Jeff Bezos, Bill & Melinda Gates, Mackenzie Scott, Warren Buffet, Michael Bloomberg, Mark Zuckerberg & Priscilla Chan, the Walton family, Michael & Susan Dell, the DeVos family, the Koch family, David Geffen, George Soros, Pierre Omidyar, the  Marcus family, Chuck Feeney, the Hilton family, the Hewlett-Packard Foundation, the Lilly Endowment, the Ford Foundation, the Getty Trust, the Kellogg Foundation, the Mellon Foundation, Heinz Endowments….to name a few.

And what do these philanthropists and humanitarians have in common? They do it mostly quietly, without self promotion, without complaining about perceived wrongs and trying to create personal wealth while pretending to perform service, with cameras commemorating every move. 

And then there are the everyday humanitarians that volunteer locally, donate to church/food banks/ community organizations/ museums/ homeless shelters/ schools/ universities/ the United Way, Go Fund Me/ addiction centers/ etc. without any recognition. 

The survival of the British Monarchy is not something that is likely to impact my life or that of the ordinary American. But, self promoting, self indulgent, self-possessed, wealthy, hypocritical bellyachers do not appeal to pull yourself up by your bootstraps Americans. 

In case one wonders, I do not watch reality TV. As such, I have not scene the Sussex show, the  Kardashians, any real housewives, Honey BooBoo, or Survival shows. Okay, I did watch What Not To Wear😎

 

The Christmas Spirit

 As 2022 comes to a close I want to wish everyone peace, contentment, good fortune, health, happiness, joy, enough food, shelter, warmth, kindness, resiliency, hope, electricity, safety, comfort, freedom from oppression, enlightenment, the ability to let go of anger and resentment, and safety.

I know it is a huge ask that the Universe, one’s higher power, governments, talking heads, social media pundits, warring tribes, Putin, political adversaries, dumb bunnies, smart alecks, obnoxious sorts, evil doers, partisans, warmongers, thieves, politicians, power players, ne’er do wells, scofflaws, cretins, and anybody who would harm children, the elderly, those who have physical or mental challenges or household pets to try, even just a little, to do the next right thing.

But in the words of Neil Armstrong, ‘ One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind’. Take one small step. Practice a small, random act of kindness. Pass it on. Pay it forward. Smile at a stranger. Open a door for somebody. Round up for charity. It is the little things that make the world a better place.

Be a gracious loser. Admit when you are wrong. Forgive. Let it go. Over tip. Say thank you. Recognize that you are more fortunate than somebody else no matter you challenges. Try not to judge unless you’ve walked in somebody else’s shoes or know what goes on behind closed doors. Clean up your own side of the street. Embrace the spirit of the holiday season no matter your beliefs. We are all members of the human race and each of us deserves consideration. ❤️💙

Reminders of the Necessity of Self Care & Gratitude

  It’s funny where we find reminders of the challenges to living a life of positivity, the importance of self care, and maintaining an attitude of gratitude. I subscribe to The The Well Dressed Life, a blog and Facebook group by Megan Kristel, who.launched her personal style business, Kristel Closets, in the Philadelphia area in 2006. Now, at age 43, she provides style tips and shopping suggestion for the “every woman” over 40.  Here is a link to the website. https://thewelldressedlife.com/.

Having previously been a follower of Brenda Kinsel, the author of several wonderful books, including 40 Over 40, who sadly succumbed to cancer in Autumn 2020, I’d already learned what works for me from a fashion perspective. But, who doesn’t love a blog that tells where all of the best sales can be found every Sunday?

This morning I read Megan’s post titled The Year I Burnt It To The Ground about her journey to letting go of toxic relationships, working on self care and finding a new way to live with gratitude. That resonated with me because I’d experienced a similar reset at about the same age, hitting the reboot button and recalibrating who I wanted to be, how I wanted to live, and what steps I had to take to get there. 

I was fortunate to have my Al Anon family group provide support along the way and impress upon me that life is a journey that would require constant work to live a life of serenity. Reading Megan’s post reminded me that every time someone bravely shares such a journey, they give hope to others.

So, I continue to share bits of my journey and tools I use to keep on a positive path with wellness, happiness, abundance and gratitude.

* let go of resentments,..forgive yourself for being imperfect

* love your neighbor or family member, but sometimes at a distance. Detach with love

* make a gratitude list

* let go of people, places & things over which you have no control. Essentially everything but your own attitude or reaction.

* practice yoga or take a walk or meditate or run or perform community service or get a massage or take vitamins. 

* tell your loved ones how much you love them, often.

* eat healthy foods, but indulge in a piece of pie/ cake/ cheesecake/ cookie/ chocolate occasionally

 

* turn off the TV, put down the phone or iPad, limit social media, go outside and absorb the beauty of our world 

* read a book

* pick up the phone and talk to people instead of sending a text or email.

* send someone an actual card through the mail

* try something
* share your life with  a dog, cat, hamster, fish, bunny or another sentient being.

* be kind, do the next right thing, avoid somebody else’s drama

* laugh 

Just a few things that have helped me on my journey, which continues each minute, hour, day….

My 45th High School Reunion

 

Last weekend I attended my 45th High School Reunion, the Class of 1977 in Logansport, Indiana…the Logan Berries. We played football in the berry patch and basketball in the Berry Bowl. Our mascot…Felix the Cat. Jimmy Carter was President. There were no mobile phones, personal computers, voice mail, email, satellite TV, Amazon.com, eBay, on- line banking, MTV, CNN, Digital music, global warming, school shootings, beach volleyball at the Olympics, ‘woke’ ideology,  Fox News, Sirius radio, blogs, Facebook, TikTok, micro breweries, or Kardashians. 

We still believed in the American dream; baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and Chevrolet; hometown parades; the work ethic; fairness; that every person who worked hard could achieve his or her dreams; before the embassy takeover in Tehran; before 9/11;  before we lost a collective belief in America.

But what I experienced at my 45th reunion was a collective appreciation for who we are in 2022, how far we’ve come since 1977, the fact we have not only survived…but thrived through the years, the changes, the heartache, the losses, the triumphs, the good times, the bad times, family drama, children, grandchildren, different belief systems, varied geography, political differences, life choices….we came together as strong survivors of the 70s filled with contentment, joy, appreciation for where we’ve been how far we’ve come, and how much we still have in common…from the same place and time…filled emerald gratitude that we were able to meet again and remember our commonality. 

Photo: me with my 90 year old dad💙

Wake Up America! Our Civil Legal System is Broken!

 https://www.theguardian.com/business/2022/aug/22/ford-to-appeal-17bn-verdict-against-it-in-georgia-truck-crash-case

I urge you to follow this link and read the article. A jury in Georgia decided to award the adult children of two individuals who died when their 2002 Ford truck rolled over after a tire blew. It was alleged that Ford failed to ensure the vehicle could with stand rollover impacts and prevent death. 

The jury awarded punitive damages in excess of One Billion Dollars! Apparently, a jury of the typical American’s peers believes that manufacturers of automobiles should ensure the safety of occupants to a degree that requires punishing the company, the American public and international purchasers of Ford vehicles to an extent that could cause the company to raise its prices significantly or fold the business…thus putting untold numbers of people out of work.

Billion! What had happened to the intellect of the 21st century juror who can, with any sense of competence render such an award!?

Where do these numb skulls think the money comes from? It isn’t from fairy dust. Do you know who pays for these ridiculous verdicts? We do. You do. How?  Higher insurance premiums. Higher prices for goods and services. American companies deciding to close manufacturing plants, trucking companies, retail stores, wholesale operations, shipping companies, pharmaceutical research, construction of new buildings,  research into new products. 

There is risk in everything we do, every step we take, every breath, every transaction. People make mistakes. But most do the best that they can with the knowledge and tools they have at the time. Stop it now!

Do you want to pay $80k for a car? $45 for a roll of toilet paper? $200 for a ladder? Higher maintenance fees at your condo? Higher state taxes? Fine if you do. Otherwise, stop and think. 

Who do you think really benefits at the end of the day? For the Ford case, the state of Georgia will get 75% of whatever punitive damages mat be left after years of appeals. The attorneys representing the beneficiaries of the estate will rake in 40% of what is left. Ford will just raise prices to cover the costs. And whatever portion is covered by insurance will result in increased premiums for everybody. 

This system is broken. We need tort reform, limits on non economic damages, caps on punitive damages and limits on what plaintiff attorneys can charge. People! Wake up! 

Listening to Rain

 

This has been a rainy day. When I headed out mid afternoon for a long overdue massage to release back pain, it was necessary to embrace a torrential downpour to run from my car to the spa. Instead of resenting the rain and my resultant drenched self, I decided to embrace the downpour and laugh. The rain didn’t cause injury, just a bit of wet clothes and hair, all of which dried while I indulged in the pleasure of a healing massage in the middle of a workday afternoon. For me, that is essential therapy, an exercise that is necessary for me to stay healthy, pain free and able to endure yet another reorganization of my workgroup. There have been so many in the last 7 years and 6 weeks that I’ve no ability to quantify. 

Because I’d embraced self care during the workday, of course I logged back on to my VPN when I arrived home followed by my 2 miles on the treadmill, an exercise that helps me shed the stress of the day and leaves me calories to guzzle a bit of fermented grape…today a bit of Greenhill Blanc de Blanc…why not I bit of bubbly in the middle of theveeek! 😎

After my cooldown I retreated to the screened in porch porch with our two indoor spoiled cats, Mindy and Anya, to listen to the rain. What a glorious sound! There are few sounds as peaceful as the drops of rain combined with the smell of the freshness that a hard rain brings. It is smooth peaceful, to sit in the dark with a flute of bubbly and purring cats…it elevates all of my senses. I know I will enjoy peaceful sleep tonight.

Reflections on Turning 63

 

I celebrated my 63rd birthday a few weeks ago. I’m not sure how I got here. I recall snippets of memories from my childhood, my teens, my university years, my party days, my first marriage, my life overseas, and the last 18 years in rural Virginia enjoying a healthy relationship, 3 acres of rocky ridge land, a plethora of cats,  wine tasting, great cooking, a mesmerizing fountain, and peaceful hours reading books, enjoying the sounds of nature, my few excellent friends and contentment. 

Sometimes it feels as if I’ve lived several lives…like the Shakespeare quote about an actor playing many roles. But what really resonates with me is my desire to reconnect and embrace my Midwestern roots. Virginia is my home. I’ve found family history in Winchester back to the Revolutionary War. It is where I am settled and at peace.

But, I owe my foundation, my ethics, my code, my belief system to where I was raised In Logansport, Indiana.

My husband, a native of Lennawee County, Michigan, feels the same. We are who we are because of the way we were raised, to believe in fairness, law & order, the miracle of the USA and its Constitution, the concept that we are all created equal and deserve equal opportunities, that it is necessary to work hard to achieve success, that giving back to community is important, the golden rule, acceptance of people for who they are, and that kindness is always the right way to go.

I’ve had a lot of ups and downs, successes and failures, joys and heartache, good fortune and challenges, highs and lows, celebrations and depression. But overall, I know I have been blessed. Even the difficult times when I thought I would not be able to crawl out of the abyss to see the light again, I’ve found the strength to rise like a Phoenix from the ashes.

Lessons I’ve learned helped me to reset my hard drive from a place of negativity to an attitude of positivity. If I can do that, so can you. Celebrate the beauty in every day and practice an attitude of gratitude. It will change your life. It changed mine and helped me to accept the aging process with joy, humility and gratitude.