Amazed by the Negative Reactions to the Season 3 Finale to Downton Abbey!

Amazed by the Negative Reactions to the Season 3 Finale to Downton Abbey!

Within 8 hours of the season 3 finale of Downton Abbey, pundits, critics and bloggers were filling the web with vitriol and promising to eschew any interest in future episodes. Julian Fellowes has been vilified for killing off two of the show’s most beloved characters. But Fellowes had to deal with the decisions of Jessica Brown Findlay and Dan Stevens to leave the show. Sure, one can argue the actors will rue their decisions. But for every Shelly Long, McLean Stevenson or Anthony Edwards, there is a Denzel Washington, George Clooney, or Steve Carrell. I wish both Ms. Brown Findlay and Mr. Stevens well.

There has been much discussion as to whether the multiple untimely deaths in the same family would constitute unreasonable machinations. However, maternal death from childbirth was still quite high in 1920 – at least 4 per 1000 births in the UK.   Today that rate is 12 per 100,000 births in the UK.

Fatalities from motor vehicle accidents were significantly higher in 1921 that today – despite the exponential increase in the number of vehicles on the road and the number of miles driven.  Using numbers from the CDC, studies show that despite the fact that the number of miles traveled by motor vehicles is more than 10 times greater than in 1921, the annual death rate has decreased from 18 per 100 million miles traveled to 1.7 per 100 million miles traveled in 1997- a 90% decrease – no doubt due to the increase in safety features. Matthew Crawley had no seatbelt, no shoulder harness, no crash resistant bumpers, no speed limits, no double yellow lines, no anti-lock brakes, no power steering, and no appreciation for the hazards inherent in driving rural unpaved roads. This was not an unreasonable way to bring about his untimely death. We are just a few years past the Spanish influenza epidemic that killed millions – including Lavinia.

I think Dan Stevens is adorable. His presence made Lady Mary soft and appealing. Love can do that. But, Downton Abbey is an ensemble cast that doesn’t rely, in my humble opinion, on one or two characters. Lady Sybil’s death was tragic; but I don’t believe her death adversely affected the show. From my perspective, it afforded an opportunity for the other actors to show depth and shine. I’ve no doubt the same will result from the departure of Matthew.

In any event, this is television. It is for the most part far superior television than what we Americans often have at our disposal. Downton alone has reinvigorated the importance of PBS. We have other quality series, but they are few. Among those I include “Game of Thrones”,  “Boardwalk Empire”, and “Homeland”. I must admit the preview of “Selfridges” looks intriguing. So, “Downton” is a bit soap opera; but it is damn good soap opera. And I will be waiting to see what Fellowes brings us in Series 4.

The Abomination that is the U.S. Tax Code

The Abomination that is the U.S. Tax Code

For those who actually work for a living, have investment income, or have a retirement income, few things are as exasperating as the United States federal tax code and the tax system overall.  The legislators, who have currently left for a 10-day vacation with the nation on the verge of financial crisis in the form of the sequestration, have contributed to the onerous system that cripples the U.S.  Economy and strikes frustration and occasionally fear into the typical law abiding citizen.

This is a timely topic for me since I began my annual task of preparing our taxes today. If it weren’t for TurboTax, I would be forced to pay an accountant. Since at one time I was compelled to hire someone to prepare my taxes at an exorbitant fee, I am loath to follow that path now. Hence, I have spent a frustrating, mind numbing, exasperating day of digging through records and filling out tax forms beginning at 9:00am and stopping (not ending) at 5:30 this evening.

Were it not for the software program, it would be nearly impossible to identify how to complete the process. Before Turbo Tax, we were at the mercy of tax accountants or the IRS customer service line. If the IRS gave incorrect information, it was and still is the taxpayer who is responsible for the errors in reporting. Not even IRS employees fully appreciate the intricacies of the tax code.

But as always, members of Congress bow to the special interest groups and lobbyists and mold the already incomprehensible tax code to hide their pandering to those who pay millions to their reelection campaigns.

Okay – those who don’t work or who are under employed have no incentive to seek change because the tax laws benefit them by giving them rebates, refunds, credits and cash back just for breathing our air. The rest of us get screwed – and not in the fun, biblical way.

Not Loving the Maxi Dress

Not Loving the Maxi Dress

When the maxi dress first returned to stores, I eschewed them as a retread, passé’, an attempt to revamp an old trick, and well, matronly. Since I’ve made it a point to learn what flatters me and to buy only what I love, I decided I would not succumb to the whimsy of the maxi. I’d been there and done that. I resisted for the first few years of the resurgence.

But last summer, while looking for something different to wear for my high school reunion, I found a dress I loved – save for the fact it was a maxi. I tried it on, loved the cut and color, and decided to give it a try.  I succumbed to fashion. My excuse was simple - there were few knee-length dresses of the cut and style that I prefer.

I’d read reviews and blogs describing the wonders of the maxi, the comfort and ease of wearing one. There was no need to shave one’s legs. Of course, the places one could wear such a style were limited. One did not wear a maxi to work, to church, to the bowling alley, to the grocery store, or to a picnic. I did read women who sang the praises of just such a dress for cruises or dinner in Hawaii. But, alas, that was not my life.

I wore the dress to my reunion. It was attractive and comfortable. But, all in all, the length was not all that flattering. And despite what may claim, it is not as comfortable as a knee length dress of a similar cut and style. Shorter skirts allow the breeze to flow. And, since I shave my legs, hiding fur was not an issue.

So today, as I emerged from my winter hibernation, I packaged the three maxi dresses I purchased last summer, headed to the tailor, and requested the length be removed, shortened, purged, and eliminated. I am not tall enough to look statuesque in a maxi. I am not thin enough to look lithe.  I look my best in a knee length dress or skirt. It is flirty, fun, cool, classic, always flattering and comfortable. It is well worth the alteration costs to renovate a dress with dynamic colors in a beautiful style that will result in my getting much more wear out of a purchase.

So long to the maxi! You served me well in my youth.  But I’ve moved on. Really, I’m done being a fashion victim.

Everyday is Valentine’s Day in My World~

Everyday is Valentine’s Day in My World~

While I am aware the origins of celebrating love in February and the feast of St. Valentine has been commemorated since the Middle Ages, the modern incarnation of the day is a debacle of colossal proportions meant to encourage flagrant spending to enrich purveyors of flowers, jewelry and candy; to allow fine dining establishments to offer only special prix fixe dinners of inferior quality food at inflated prices; and to foster a need for insecure persons to demand overt displays of affection from a loved one. It is all about show.

In my humble opinion, when one is involved in a loving relationship in which both partners engage on a daily basis the ritual of Valentine’s Day is superfluous at a minimum. My husband and I do not exchange cards or gifts nor do we send overpriced floral displays to offices or plan to dine at restaurants offering only “special Valentine’s Day” dinners. In fact, a few years ago we planned a spa weekend and were horrified to discover the regular menu was not available at the dining establishment we patronized because it was Valentine’s Day.

Instead of feeding the monster that is the Valentine’s Day of today’s world, we celebrate every day and express our gratitude for being blessed with a dynamic relationship. We don’t need a day – other than a special anniversary to recall the day we met or the date we married. It is not about gifts or flowers or cards or a “Hallmark” moment. Instead it is treasuring the everyday experiences, acknowledging our good fortune in finding love and companionship at midlife, appreciating one another for who we are, sharing a bottle of wine on the porch, a dinner we’ve prepared together, laughing because we don’t like pizza from the same parlor, accepting our differences and working together to build a life of harmony, peace and serenity based on mutual respect, love, kindness, humor, love of our families and critters, and consideration. 

Don’t Wait Until ~ Keep Your Look Current To Stay Vibrant

Don’t Wait Until ~ Keep Your Look Current To Stay Vibrant

If you haven’t changed your hairstyle, your makeup, or some aspect of your wardrobe in more than 3 years, it is time for a change. Nothing ages a woman more than wearing dated hair, makeup or clothes.

I’ve had friends who refused to change their hairstyle or divest themselves of clothes from their youth when at their thinnest or most attractive. But paying attention to current styles in hair, clothing and makeup can help we women of a certain age feel and look vibrant.

The easiest way to update a look is a modern hairstyle. And no, women over 40 do NOT have to go short. But a change in the shape or color can have a dynamic impact on one’s self esteem. Try a new color. You may find the real you. For years my hair was various shades of blonde with a loose perm to give me body; but I was born with red in my baby fine locks and resisted the temptation to go bold out of fear I wouldn’t like it.  My first step, eliminate the perm. Wow! It made my life so much easier. And just before my 48^th birthday I said myself…go for it! Try red! What’s the worst that could happen? If I hate it, I can have it recolored! 

So my stylist at the local Aveda salon mixed up a concoction of red and changed my life.  I looked in the mirror and realized red hair suited me. Now, every month my color is tweaked from copper, to auburn to strawberry to burgundy. I feel dynamic and feel empowered by the new me.

Makeup is another inexpensive and easy way to update a look. Cosmetic formulas change.  New products are launched every season.  Visit your local department store, Sephora or Ulta and play with the new offerings each spring and fall. Try a beauty balm in lieu of foundation.  Check out the amazing new mascaras that make your eyes look huge. Experiment with a new brand. My favorite brands now include Too Faced, Urban Decay, Lorac, Benefit and Makeup Forever.

And even if you don’t want to update your wardrobe, invest in one knock out handbag, purchase one pair of ballet flats in a color you wouldn’t normally wear, carry of wallet that makes you feel deliriously happy whenever you pull it out of your purse.

You do not have to be a fashionista to stay current and relevant. My red croc textured Brahmin handbag and snake textured floral Hobo wallet cause me to break into a grin whenever I think of them. It’s the little things!