Losing a Beloved Pet

Animals are not people. I get that. It is impossible to compare the loss of a loved family member, friend or colleague with the loss of an animal companion. However, our fur babies give us something that our human loved ones do not- unselfish, unconditional loyalty. No matter their variable personality quirks, our fur babies affirm through highs and lows, ups and downs, good fortune or bad, laughter and tears that we matter...whether it is because we feed them, give them shelter, love them, pet them, hear them or appreciate them, they give back more than tenfold.

Today Todd and I lost our sweet, three legged orange kitty Carlos. He was born under our porch on my birthday in 2006, the same year we married and moved into our home. We were amazed to discover this litter of kittens under the deck. From the first his engaging personality and sweet innocent face melted our hearts.

He was a loner. He hated other cats. He had no use for kittens. But he loved us. Cat sitters loved him. He had personality. He used to run thru the house pulling his birdie on a stick. He loved gravy. He loved lying in the sun or under a Japanese maple. He was named after Carlos Santana..musician and shoe designer.

When he started to fail we deluded ourselves into believing he was getting better. We tried antibiotics,  designer kitty food, warm compresses, spoon feeding, a heating pad, anything to encourage him to eat and make him comfortable. But, we couldn’t cure him. We didn’t want him to suffer any longer. We had to let him cross the Rainbow Bridge.

I wanted to hold onto him for a few more days. I wanted to feel his heartbeat, swaddle him in my arms, wish him into wellness. But we couldn’t listen to him cry another night or look at us with love and pain another day.

I turned to William Blake as we laid him to rest...Tyger, tyger burning bright...

What One Learns Living Outside the USA

My life has been remarkable in that I have had the opportunity to travel. I am grateful for my good fortune. In 1976 I traveled with my high school French teacher and fellow students to London and Paris at the tender age of 16 It was the year of the American Bicentennial, which was an interesting time to visit Britain. 

My parents afforded me the chance to study in the UK and Paris during my sophomore year at university. I spent a year in Lincolnshire studying and traveling and a summer at the Sorbonne in Paris. 1978-1979 was a tumultuous time. Fellow students at Harlaxton College outside Grantham included citizens or Iran, who were fearful of the safety of their family members during the revolution. I learned quite a bit about the vagaries of safety and life during that time. I also had the chance to travel between terms with a few friends, some bravado, a backpack and about $800. I learned that I could be frugal, wash my hair in cold water, eat street food, and get by with three outfits for six weeks. I will say that my one night in Belgrade was a bit dicey. But I survived and had a lot of stories to tell. 

But it wasn't until I moved to Taipei, Taiwan in 1988 that I truly learned to appreciate the extraordinary good fortune I have to live in the USA as an American citizen. We are blessed with plenty. The options we have in the typical grocery store are unequaled anywhere else in the world,

My experiences have confirmed my youthful ideology that we Americans have the best standard of living in the world, the most sophisticated health care, the widest array of food, the most comfortable houses, the most diverse citizenry, the most enviable privileges, and greater freedoms than any other nation on earth. Our Republic is the envy of the world. There is a reason people want to come here. It is for the opportunities that are not available on any other corner of the earth. 

Citizens who denigrate our Republic, our government, our way of life, our good fortune - who criticize the founders of our nation because they do not meet the current standards of diversity, who opine that European settlers were somehow proponents of genocide because of the Manifest Destiny propagated by the federal government, have not studied world history. Throughout time areas of land and the people who inhabited that land have been conquered and displaced. From a modern perspective this may be considered heinous. But, that is not how people who came before us thought.

We really have no right to judge those who lived in another time. I know that I cannot purport to understand what lived in the minds of a man or woman from the 15th, 16th, 17th , 18th or 19th Century. We can look at history through a modern lens and agree that we no longer accept those norms. But I cannot accept that it is appropriate to remove the names of those who came before from plaques, buildings, institutions, roads, schools, etc because we have evolved. Let us remember those who came before for what they did right - not for their failings. Do you want to be remembered for your failings? I do not.

Disgusted With Current Political Divisiveness & Vitriol

The American political system is a brilliant creation of men of the 18th Century who read the classics in the original Greek & Latin, studied the rise and fall of empires, and drafted a Constitution that was intended to avoid the pitfalls of past civilizations. That is why we in the USA are a republic instead of a democracy. The design of the government that afforded representation in the House of Representatives to afford those from states with larger populations to have a voice as well as the equal representation in the Senate was purposeful. The Founders did not want states with smaller populations to be steamrolled by population centers. This is also the reason for the Electoral College. Those who risked execution for treason by rebelling against the English Crown sought fairness. Compromise was essential to ensure ratification of the Constitution. There would be no USA today if the Founders had not compromised on some issues that today we find abhorrent. But consider that we are a country of diverse people that have endured through Civil War, bad presidents, corrupt members of Congress, the Civil Rights movement, engagement in foreign wars, attacks on our people, and extreme disagreement politically. 

There have been arguments over the direction the country should take since the founding of the republic. One of the bitterest political rivalries involved John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. Although they disagreed vociferously politically and were estranged for years, they resumed their friendship and correspondence eventually and died on the same day - coincidentally - Independence Day. (As did James Monroe).

There have been several presidents loathed by the opposition. However, until the current presidential administration, the differences have, for the most part, been resolved through subsequent elections. Whether one hates, tolerates, disdains or loves Donald J. Trump, he was a duly elected president of the USA according to the law of the land and the Constitution. He has not destroyed the country. There are too many checks and balances for any executive to do so. 

Consider that Mr. Dershowitz, who admittedly voted for Hillary Clinton and argued that Bill Clinton should not have been impeached for perjury, also represents Donald Trump in this impeachment trial before the Senate and argues that he has not committed am impeachable offense. Mr. Dershowitz in a constitutional scholar with which I have not always agreed. But he is not partisan in this matter. He is consistent. 

The American electorate has reached a partisan divide in which those on opposite sides of the political spectrum will not listen to any alternative views. The partisans have become entrenched in a position, will not consider any other perspective, refuse to listen to alternative views, ridicule the opposition, and argue that Donald Trump is Satan personified. I am dumbfounded by the energy that people invest in the vitriol. The republic survived James Buchanan, Warren G. Harding, Franklin Pierce, Millard Fillmore, Woodrow Wilson and Jimmy Carter (when I lived in Europe during the Carter administration I let people think I was Canadian). The republic will survive Donald Trump. We do not need our presidents to be good people. We need them to be effective leaders. John F. Kennedy is often looked upon as an effective president, yet he was a terribly unfaithful husband, violated his own sanctions against Cuba, and engaged in foreign policy decisions that were clearly ill-advised. Not only that, he accelerated our involvement in Vietnam. 

I am neither a Democrat or a Republican, although I am conservative fiscally and on Constitutional issues such as the 2nd Amendment. I lean toward Libertarian, which believes in a small government that keeps its paws out of my pocket, off my land, out of my house, without any input in decisions between me and my physician, who I can marry, what I can cultivate and how I defend myself.  I believe that one can love, live, conduct business with and worship as one feels is appropriate without government oversight.  Just fix my roads, bridges, air traffic control, monetary policy, interstate infrastructure, waterways, borders, print money, maintain federal land, maintain our military to protect and defend the USA, ensure the Native Americans and veterans are treated fairly, and sustain compliance with the Constitution. Stay out of healthcare, insurance, education, personal life decisions, etc. 

Just let go of the angst, the divisiveness, and vitriol. Embrace your fellow citizen and agree that it is okay to disagree without judgment. 

Why We Rarely Go To The Movies

Todd and I rarely go to a cinema to see a film. It has been years since we felt compelled to pay full price for an evening viewing....I think the last time was Spielberg’s ‘Lincoln’ because Todd worked on the movie for the art department. We’ve gone to a few matinees to see James Bond, The Hunger Games, the documentary We Shall Not Grow Old, and a few others. But all in all....not worth the time, energy or money. Instead, we choose to binge watch premium TV...generally the imported variety. We watch The Handmaid’s Tale, Succession, Outlander, Victoria...shows with grit and actors that look like real people. American movies and television essentially sucks. (We did love Deadwood,  The Sopranos, Fargo & Justified)

No doubt that is one of the reasons the ratings for self congratulatory shows like the Holden Globes, Oscars, etc have started to tank. For me, the only reason to watch the first hour involves making fun of the awful fashions that the mainstream media lauds...such as the laughable frock worn by Ms. Paltrow at the Golden Globes. That made Bjorn look tasteful.

I must admit my rant was triggered by the backlash to the extremely amusing monologue by Ricky Gervais. It was darn funny. It harkened back to the days when comedians were allowed to be funny without fear of being blacklisted. It felt refreshing. And, it was the only part of the show we watched..online...after it was broadcast.

People in the entertainment industry forget that they are, essentially, irrelevant to most folks unless they are...entertaining. We don’t care what they think about politics, climate, war, wearing fur or the homeless...These are people that like to ‘interpret’ history so they look fetching instead of appropriate.

So give me a nice BBC production on Masterpiece or a premium network with actors who look like real people wearing hair styles and clothing that is appropriate for the time, place and genre. Or Netflix & Hulu.

Hollywood.....YAWN. Have I mentioned how distracted I was by the awful hairstyles & costumes in Little Women? That’s $7 and 2 1/2 hours I’ll never get back.

Can I Avoid Impulse Purchases in 2020?

I am a compulsive shopper. This has been a personal challenge for decades. I love clothes, shoes, belts, scarves, hats, jewelry and housewares. I currently have 20 Third Love bras. I can’t resist a great online  sale. I telecommute. I travel an average of monthly for work. And yet... a new offering by MM LaFleur reels me in. 

After reading an article in The Guardian yesterday by a fashion editor that decided to avoid purchasing fast fashion for a year, I’ve decided to give my adapted version a go for 2020. This is not a New Years Resolution. I don’t subscribe to resolutions that are likely to be broken in 72 hours. Instead, this is an aspiration for which there is no penalty, guilt or failure if there are purchases. What I hope to achieve is some semblance of common sense that balances need vs want, thoughtfulness vs impulse,  mindfulness vs shopping as an alternative for some more fulfilling activity. 

No doubt psychologists could diagnose some ‘disorder’ for my propensity to purchase things on a whim. Whatever! It is just part of my psyche. At this point in my life, however, I have goals beyond immediate satisfaction. Achieving those goals will require a modicum of self restraint. 

Does anybody else have a similar goal? What tools do you use to keep yourself in check? Please share. Shall we support one another to achieve some level of success?

Tonight I deleted all of my favorite shopping sites from my iPad. ( with the exception of Sephora, Nordstrom & Amazon[seriously, we can’t delete makeup, cat food & books]) I am giving myself a pass for accessories, books & makeup. But otherwise, I will try to refrain from sweaters, jeans, coats, dresses, skirts, workout outfits, tops, casual pants, pajamas, jackets, professional clothes and swimwear. This will be a one day at a time effort. I may need to unplug. Temptation is everywhere. 😎

Begin 2020 With An Attitude of Gratitude

Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” –Marcus Aurelius

There is too much anger in the world. Maintaining that anger takes a lot of energy, adversely affects one's immune system, and inhibits one's ability to feel joy. Letting go of anger, resentments and negativity is self-healing. From my own journey, I've learned that practicing an attitude of gratitude can be life changing. Learning to focus on positivity and gratitude helped me reboot my hard drive to enable me to live a life that is mostly filled with contentment and serenity. The process took years of introspection, fellowship in Al Anon, listening to my angels, putting positive energy into the Universe, setting boundaries, avoiding negative people, accepting that I have no control over other people, places and things, actively forgiving myself and all others for real or imagined resentments, and mindfully expressing gratitude for my blessings.

Think of the beauty in our world~ Todd and I have not been able to tame the barren, rocky wilderness upon which we live. But we've been able to find beauty in the trees that surround us, the stars in the night sky, the sunrise in the east, the brilliant colors in the sun setting over the western ridge, the chirping of cicadas, the variety of birds that dine at our feeders, our collection of abandoned cats that rush up to greet us when we ascend th driveway. 

Focus on gratitude when thinking about the wonders of the USA, a grand experiment in democracy that affords its citizens the ability to select our leaders. Instead of focusing on what is wrong with our nation, focus on what is right. Celebrate with gratitude the fact that Americans have the freedom to criticize our leaders without fear of imprisonment or execution. Express gratitude for the ingenuity of individuals that created great books, cures for diseases, drugs that prolong life, social media, mobile phones, movies that entertain the world, airplanes, personal computers, libraries in most towns, insecticides that allow crops to thrive, the electric light, railroads, the steel industry, the sewing machine, Heinz Ketchup, Hershey's chocolate, IBM, and rockets that sent humankind to the moon. 

I am today grateful for my family, fulfilling employment, excellent health, wine, books, cashmere, a home with indoor plumbing/heating/AC/electricity, treasures from my travels, beautiful memories, garlic, clear vision, the ability to hear beautiful music, the aroma of cookies baking, mobility, and the ability to disagree with friends and still be friends. 😍

Distracting Hairstyles ~ Little Women 2019

Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women  first captivated my imagination and heart when I was in 4th grade and received a much treasured copy of the book as a gift. Over the years I’ve reread the novel multiple times; and I’ve watched every film and television adaptation- none of which have done justice to the book. I think about the enduring appeal of Little Women, which at its heart is a celebration of sisterhood, family, love, loss and yearning for independence. I find it fascinating that Ms. Alcott disliked her own pseudo autobiographical creation, perhaps because she conceded to having her heroine Jo marry.

I liked Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Little Women, with the time lines alternating from present to past. Saoirse Ronin portrays Jo admirably with aplomb. Overall, the movie was well cast, beautifully filmed, and as comfortable as spending an afternoon with a group of old friend. And, as customary, tears filled my eyes as dear Beth died yet again.

What was overall a positive experience was marred by my constant distraction of the inordinately awful hairstyles of the March women, with the exception of Meryl Streep as Aunt March. Even a family as unorthodox as the March / Alcott family would have followed convention and worn neat, contained, appropriate hairstyles with a center part. In particular, the bushy side parted  bangs worn by Laura Dern and Emma Watson would have been unthinkable in 1860s America.

While I can understand that a director and costumer may want to ‘interpret’ an era, the actors just looked to me exactly what they are.....21st Century women playing dress up. If one makes the effort to use period appropriate candlelight, why not make a modicum of effort with hairstyles? Since there are actual photographs of the Alcott family members upon which the characters are based, it would have been pretty darn simple to get it right.

What Christmas Means to Me

Over the decades Christmas has become more secular & commercial, a time to celebrate the increases in retail sales rather than a focus on spirituality.

Despite the fact that shopping and gift giving have replaced celebration of family and focus on the birth of Christianity, I refuse to be drawn into the commercialism and secular holiday celebrations with roots in paganism.

I was raised with the belief that Christmas celebrated the birth of Christ, the founder of Christianity, upon which our Judeo Christian nation was formed. Yes, we embrace the practice of all religions; however, the nation was founded on a set of Christian beliefs that supported the principles of mainstream Protestantism. The founding fathers espoused a belief that the state should not establish a religion, which differs from current arguments that the state should ignore religion. Any student of history truly knows that the founders of our land opposed a state established religion that resulted in the execution of those who disagreed with the state sponsored dogma, such as the centuries disagreements in England over Catholicism vs Protestantism.

My husband and I resist the commercialism by making a commitment to focus on family, eliminating gifts for all with the exception of young grandchildren and deciding to celebrate quietly with a focus on our loved ones.

Good food, quiet reflection, love of family, celebration of life, appreciation of blessings...these are the  things we celebrate.

Exploring Acupuncture & Alternative Medicine

Despite the fact that I lived in Asia for 5 years, it wasn’t until I was binge watching Outlander on Starz over the Thanksgiving holiday that I seriously considered acupuncture for alleviating my stress, elevated blood pressure, and insomnia. A Chinese seaman used acupuncture for Jamie Fraser’s sea-sickness on a voyage from Scotland to America. It truly was a ‘eureka moment for me.

After decades of stability, my blood pressure spiked and my stress levels increased exponentially- most likely attributable to the 4th or 5th corporate reorganization since my company wS acquired in early 2016. I’d tried all the usual things- yoga, Pilates, meditation, diffusing essential oils, a Buddha fountain in my office, repeating the 12 Al Anon Steps & Serenity Prayer repeatedly while trying to fall asleep, and doses of CBD & melatonin. Still, my. p spiked within minutes of logging on to my laptop. The icky tasting beet root powder helped; but trying to envision 35+ years of drinking that unfortunate concoction daily prompted me to act.

Within. Week I was trudging through the rain after parking illegally to my initial appointment with a local acupuncture practitioner. I was impressed by the time she took to outline my medical history back to my teen years. She spent more time getting to know me than my MD internist of 14 years had  over the 14 years I’d been a patient. The practitioner developed a plan, explained the suggested course of treatment, length of treatment, and supplemental diet & nutrition  recommends that should alleviate my symptoms over a period of 90 days.

The initial treatment immediately relaxed me. I nearly fell asleep while lying on the table with the needles strategically inserted in my spine. I felt zero pain. My over active mind rested. I could feel the tension evaporate.

I decided to follow the recommended course of treatment, including the recommended mineral supplements that are not sold by the practitioner. There was no sense of pressure, no feeling of coercion or immediacy- just a feeling that looking at well being from a holistic perspective gives one a sense of empowerment. Perhaps seeking this holistic intervention now will result in my being able to avoid toxic treatments in the future.

I embrace the advancements of modern western medicine, but sometimes alternative treatments should be considered in addition to traditional treatments. I look forward to my second appointment next week.
Namaste🧘‍♀️

Jumping on the CBD Oil Bandwagon for Insomnia Relief

One of the questionable joys of aging ~ insomnia! My sleepless nights have gotten worse with each year. During times of increased stress - such as the constant restructuring of my corporate world, family illnesses, unexpected tax bills or listening to CNN, my wakefulness intensifies. Lack of sleep has caused me to be distracted to the point that I inadvertently took my husband's blood pressure medicine instead of my own for two weeks. Fortunately, that error was discovered before I exploded into tiny bits. 

I hadn't seriously considered CBD oil until my sister mentioned that her pancreas specialist had inquired if she'd tried it for pain. She replied in the negative, but reported that her husband had nearly weaned himself from all opiates he'd been taking for excruciating back pain after giving CBD oil a try. My sister-in-law had told me a couple of years ago that one of her friends had experienced cancer remission after using CBD oil.

Following some late night research while I was visiting my dad, I ordered 60 Cherry Mango Flavored 5mg gummies from +PlusCBDOil. Online reviews rate this company as one with the highest quality and quality control with no THC in the product. Guidance suggests starting at a low dosage and then gauging efficacy, 

https://pluscbdoil.com/cbd-products/cbd-oil-gummies/cbd-oil-gummies/

After less than one week of taking 5mg gummies I have been waking up no more than twice in the middle of the night. For me, this is golden. 

There are several methods of benefiting from CBD oil: topical creams, gels or sprays; liquid drops, capsules, vaping, roll ons or gummies. I chose gummies because they are easy. But I recommend that anybody considering CBD oil to do research and choose what is right for you.

I'm considering taking an extra gummy tonight for a great Friday night sleep!

Honoring My Dad - Cass County Foundation

The Cass County Indiana Foundation honored my father last Friday, November 1, 2019 for his contributions to Cass County, Indiana from the time he moved to the community in 1954. Mayor David Kitchell also named November 1, 2019 Richard Copeland Day and also named him Citizen of the Week.


I am filled with gratitude that the community in which I was raised honored my Dad for his dedication, love and commitment to his adopted home. From the time he moved to the city of Logansport in Cass County, Indiana he embraced the people and its history. He was raised as a farm boy  in Posey County, Indiana who celebrated the opportunity to live a life in a small city community that embraced the modern world, gave him the chance to teach young people, introduced him to my mom, and afforded him the opportunity to contribute in a meaningful way to the world.

Daddy loves Logansport and Cass County, its people, its history, its land and all that it has to offer. History is defined by the people who have lived in a place and time. In order to understand who we are we must study those who came before. My dad has made it his passion to investigate the people who lived, visited, traversed, or considered Cass County in any way. It is amazing to consider the people who have lived in or passed through this whistle stop in North Central Indiana. And thanks to my father, a great deal of those connections have been documented and preserved.

I am filled with gratitude to the Cass  County Foundation that voted to honor my father for his community service and the mayor of Logansport, Dave Kitchell, who named 11/01/2019 as Richard Copeland Day and honored him as Citizen of the Week. He deserves the accolades. I am humbled by his service to community and feel privileged to be his daughter.

Considering the Wonderful Experiences Life Has Afforded Me So Far~

It is so easy in this 21st Century environment of incivility and hateful political discourse to let the negativity adversely affect one's sense of peace and serenity. However, I've been fortunate enough to learn the art of focusing on gratitude for my blessings. The journey has been challenging and taken years of introspection, requires my letting go of resentments regularly and relies upon my maintaining the contentment and focus on positivity that I've struggled to attain. As I've shared regularly, my years in Al Anon provided me with the tools achieve and maintain my peace and serenity.

At my first Al Anon meeting at a church in Hong Kong in 1993 the group suggested I make a gratitude list. Initially, I used the alphabet and tried to identify one thing that started with each letter for which I felt grateful. Over the years I've come to accept that I feel gratitude for each life experience - even those that were painful - because that experience contributed to my becoming the woman I am today, October 13, 2019, at age 60.

These are just some of the things and experiences that fill me with gratitude:

• Sitting on my screened - in porch, reading an actual book, sipping wine, surrounded by my husband and cats;
• Wearing 1930s fashions while showing our 1934 Terraplane at the Hershey ACCA yesterday;
• Traveling to England on the Queen Elizabeth II cruise ship as a 19 year old student;
• Learning to ride a horse English saddle while a student in England;
• Spending a summer in Paris studying at the Sorbonne and meeting my AOII sisters Carla and Olga there;
• Riding an elephant in Chang Mai;
• Enjoying a manicure and pedicure while lounging on Nusa Dua Beach in Bali;
• Visiting the incomparable Cathedral of the Cao Dai outside Tay Ninh in Vietnam;
• Celebrating marriage to my soulmate, Todd Harrington, on the veranda of the Villa Sirio in Castellebate with the town mayor presiding and surrounded by friends and family;
• The ability to practice yoga and Pilates regularly;
• Spending time with my dad on his newly built deck;
• Becoming a member of the American Club in Hong Kong, where I met wonderful people that helped keep me somewhat sane during my 3 years on the island;
  
• Growing tomatoes from seed that actually produced fruit;
• Backpacking through Europe at the age of 19, feeling empowered to travel on my own when my colleagues had other plans;
• Sitting on the flight deck with the pilot and first officer on 2 Qantas Airlines - including while landing at night over the Hong Kong harbor at the old Kai Tak Airport;
• Cashmere sweaters;
• Classical music;
• Pearls; 18K Gold Jewelry; 
• The plays I've seen, concerts I've attended, places I've traveled, people I've met, pets that shared unconditional love, planes that took off and landed safely, museums filled with the art of the ages;

Just looking at this incomplete list of things for which I feel gratitude fills me with wonder. Try it. Make a list of things for which your are grateful. Living with an attitude of gratitude will change your life. It surely changed mine.

What Happened To My Nails?

Really! In my youth I had fingernails of iron! I could use them as a screwdriver! What the hell happened? Overnight Iwent from nails of iron to paper thin nails that cannot support a manicure for a week! My diet is sufficient. What happened? I used to look at my mom with suspicion when she reported deficient nails. How could that be? What changed?

It happened slowly, without notice. Suddenly, I was blindsided by the change. Jello stopped  working!

My nails are flimsy, prone to ridges, cracks & unanticipated fissures. Emory boards do not help. Not one of the tools of the trade provide guidance. Instead, evidence suggests that I am doomed to 35 years of thin, challenged, short, ridged nails that will require professional assistance moving forward.

There must be a way to avoid gel solutions or acrylic tips which make it all worse. Any suggestions!

Skin Care for Women of a Certain Age

Since 4th Grade I’ve experienced challenges with sensitive or acne prone skin. I truly never imaged that at age 60 I would still be dealing with breakoutsand dermatitis. Consequently, I’ve been searching for the Holy Grail skin care products throughout adulthood. During my late 20’s and 30’s I used Retin A, which I was fortunate enough to buy over the counter in Hong Kong for $15 per tube. When my ability to tap that resource disappeared, my options reverted to prescription products or cosmetic grade retinol products.

Over the years I’ve tried and discarded more premium skin care products than I can recall. Most were in effective. A few caused inflammation. I have a subscription to a local spa; however, overall I gain my holistic benefit from massage therapy than a facial.

Internet research led me to Emminence Organic Skin Care. https://eminenceorganics.com/us
I was impressed by the testimonials from customers with similar skin care challenges and the option to purchase samples to try before committing to a full size product. The products are not sold directly. Instead I was able to purchase from https://www.dermstore.com/. I’ve become a convert of this amazing line of natural products that feel terrific and smell divine in addition to doing what the products claim to do.  There is a great article in Allure about Emminence.
https://www.allure.com/story/skin-type-quiz-eminence-organic-skin-care-products.

These are the products I’ve tried and love:

 

Y

How Can I Be 60?

It is still hard for me to fathom that my compadres and I have experienced 60 years on this planet. How did so many years pass? I still see glimpses in my distant memory of looking out the window from my brother’s bedroom, seeing the school children boarding the school buses, and hoping to one day be one of those students. Wow!

As I fully embrace the dynamic woman of a certain age that I am today I look back with a semblance of pride and amazement at the challenges that women of my generation overcame  to achieve success and credibility in the corporate world, arts, sciences, politics, the law, as business owners, entrepreneurs, physicians, researchers, military command, design, technology, innovation, community service, finance, volunteering  and work/ life balance. We now have choices that did not exist 40 years ago.

I still chuckle to myself when I consider that I never believed I would need to understand computers. Now, I’m lost without  my iPad, 2 cell phones, 2 laptops, Sirius radio, Netflix, DirecTv, digital music, and LTE to allow me to telecommute. This from someone raised in a home with one black rotary dial phone where ‘long distance’ was a rare treat.

To get myself back into blogging, I think I’ll muse a bit about the changes and events that have transpired over the last 60 years. Perhaps some will consider that in Life’s overall scheme of things, life is pretty darned fabulous for those of us fortunate enough to live in the USA....despite some political differences.❤️

How My Sinus Infection Reminded Me to Forgive My Mom For Letting Go

She knew.We didn't.

I am a weenie when it comes to illness. That is probably the result of having been blessed with great genes and the fact that I have been blessed with great health throughout my 60 years. It is not all attributable to clean. healthy living. The fact that I survived the fall of 1977 through 1984 is a gift from the Angels.

For the first time since my flu event that began New Years Eve 1998, I have been sick enough to require more than one day away from work. Yes, more than 20 years. I am used to feeling great most of the time. But a sinus infection has stopped me in my tracks. If you look up symptoms of a sinus infection, I've experienced every one in some form over the past 10 days. I kept thinking it would get better. I haven't had a serious sinus infection since 1997. I was also concerned about developing pneumonia and decided to visit my internist, hoping he would allay my fear of pneumonia and give me a miracle drug to make it all go away.

As I was walking into the Medical Arts Building II, I was all of a sudden overcome with grief and guilt that I, a person with a mere sinus infection, had carried anger at my mom for 2 1/2 years for giving up, at the age of 86, after bilateral breast cancer, fractured vertebrae, and the knowledge her cancer had returned for a third time. I cried at my lack of empathy for all she had been through, even though I knew what she had experienced, because I'd felt in some way she should have fought to stay with us. That was selfish. After just one week of my feeling terrible, I know that my new prescription for Amoxicillin will have me back in my state of normalcy in a few days. I don't know how I would deal with the knowledge it was never going to be better?

So, 22 hours after my first miracle pill, I am on the mend, but reminded that I am fortunate. Maybe this episode was meant to reignite my empathy for those with chronic or terminal illness. I've released my resentment of mom and of myself for my attitude. I'll also try harder to understand another family member's periodic drama queen episodes, knowing how she has struggled to live a normal life, with an autoimmune disorder that took years to diagnosis after changing her life overnight, and continues to takes its toll on her organs.

Sometime an unexpected negative can have some positive results.

Memories of the Apollo 11 Moon Landing 50 Years Later

During my childhood athletes were not the only heroes. I loved Willy Mays, Hank Aaron, Ernie Banks, Johnny Unitas and Bart Starr. However, Astronauts were my real heroes. Being launched into the unknown in a tiny capsule above unknown amounts of explosive materials using bleeding edge technology was unfathomable. Every launch was awe inspiring.

I grew up during the era of the space race to the moon. We believed in American exceptionalism. We believed in the dream of JFK. We believed in infinite possibilities. Despite the sword of Damocles hanging over us that was the threat of nuclear annihilation, we as  a people believed in the innovation of our scientists, the ability to create new technologies that would propel us to the moon before the “evil empire” over which the Soviets presided, and that we Americans would stand proud of our collective accomplishments. We did it not because it was easy, but because it was hard.

The culmination of our 1960’s era dreams resulted in the entirety of the nation staying  awake to tune into Walte Cronkite  to watch the grainy black & white transmissions from Neil Armstrong & Buzz Aldrin stepping from the lunar module onto the surface of the moon. This was the most jubilant moment of my childhood. Listening to Neil Armstrong’s comment that this was ‘one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” became the defining moment in my memory and of the 1960’s.

My 10th Birthday was the following day, July 21, 1969. My birthday cake was decorated with a lunar module, American Flag, and the Apollo 11 astronauts. The memories are seared into my mind. NASA represented the epitome of American ingenuity. 50 years laters Apollo 11 still represents the apex of American exceptionalism.

NASA scientists and engineers continued to research and develop unequalled technologies. However, launches of the Apollo rockets and space shuttles became commonplace to those born after the moon landing. People stopped gathering around televisions to watch launches, missions, and landings. We had become blasé. And following the explosion of the Challenger, Americans had less tolerance for the risks of space travel. While the tragedy of Apollo 1 did not cause Americans to lose heart, a less space focused people in the 1980’s concluded the cost of the research and the risk to human life caused a newer generation to reconsider the benefits of space exploration.

To those of us who loved the concept of going where no man has gone before, that is one of the greatest losses of our modern culture. How I miss the excitement of a rocket launch, the holding of one’s breath as the capsule is launched beyond the earth’s atmosphere, and the admiration of those brave men & women who look to the stars in pursuit of our collective dreams.

And still today, whenever my plane lands, I text my loved ones : the eagle has landed. ❤️

Honor the Patriots Who Founded Our Country

In today’s world of polarization and political correctness it is fashionable to denigrate the founders of our constitutional republic as privileged white men. If one reconsiders the historical context of time and place and contemplates where modern Americans would be today without the heroism of those who put their necks on the line for independence from Britain, perhaps there would be at least an iota of gratitude for the men who signed the Declaration of Independence.

Regretfully, current American school curriculums fail to devote appropriate time and study to the founding of our nation. Yes, there were slave owners. Yes, there were flawed human beings that do not withstand the sensibilities and morals of today. However, these were men of their time who descended from brave and desperate people looking to escape religious or political oppression that risked death just by boarding a ship to cross harrowing seas looking for opportunities. Considering the scarcity of books, they were educated by the age of 16 beyond PhD level graduates of today. They lived in a hard scrabble environment without indoor plumbing, electricity, clean water, easy transportation, paved roads, heat, air conditioning, steam engines, telephone, Internet, cars, trains, modern medicine, gasoline, credit cards, a central bank, the  Constitution, civil rights, college loans, or any of the conveniences people today take for granted.

Instead of denigrating those who founded our nation, consider that without the decisions made by those who signed the Declaration of a Independence (who were accused of treason) we would more than likely still be subjects of Britain, contributing tax dollars to the monarchy, subjected to socialized medicine, endure an antiquated class system, be limited to 6 TVchannels, have to join the. Church of England, watch cricket and drink warm beer.

Just consider...we’ve come a long way since 1776!

Government Funded = Taxpayer Funded

 The multidudes of Democrat candidates seeking the party nomination have clearly stated that they want to take more money from the working people who pay taxes to redistribute to people who do not. Yet, they purport to represent ‘working Americans’. Amazingly, these politicians fail to differentiate what they consider a ‘working American.’

I am a working American. All of my friends & acquaintances are working Americans. Yet, these politicos want to transfer the earnings of SOME working Americans to OTHER working Americans that are deemed more ‘worthy’ ( or leaches who do not work) based upon an unidentifiable quotient. Apparently ‘successful’  working Americans who played by the rules, worked hard, achieved a version of the American Dream that  somebody deems ‘too successful’ should pay to support those who did not work so hard, decided to take a different path, played by different rules, failed to study at school, and broke the law. Is this a winning philosophy?

The current crop of politicians and liberals refuse to acknowledge the very foundations of the ethic that the original settlers subscribed to for survival. Those who do not work do not eat. This was the philosophy of Jamestown & the Purtitan Massachusetts colony. The community required every member to contribute. This is the very foundation of the American way. No handouts for those who do not contribute.

The early immigrants to our shores braved unfriendly seas, disease, hardship, an inhospitable land, 17th Century technology, the unknown, and a high likelihood of premature death to carve out a life free of religious or political oppression.  Nobody gave them anything.

Nobody owes any of us anything except the rights enumerated in the Bill of Rights. This does not include FREE benefits paid for by one’s fellow citizens. Instead, one is entitled to freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of assembly, freedom of press, the right to own arms and other freedoms SPECIFIED by the Constitution. If it isn’t mentioned, it is not a right.

If Congress wants to create another right, such as a right to healthcare, draft a Constitutional amendment that requires ratification by the states. Until such time, additional ‘rights’ do not exist.

Hate, Incivility & Rudeness Are Inexcusable From Anyone!

My parents raised me to treat every human being with courtesy and respect - even if I disagreed with their opinions, disliked them personally, disapproved of their actions, or felt no respect. Regretfully, too many citizens of the USA believe that it is perfectly acceptable and reasonable to exhibit disgust, hate, rudeness, offense, and disdain in public towards individuals who may have a different ideology or political opinion. The incivility is encouraged by the media,  spouted by opposing politicians, and defended by individuals that feel self righteous in their opinions. Incivility is NOT acceptable.

Because I know that I will never change the minds of those who disagree with me politically, I've attempted to  refrain from stepping into the current political fray. However, the actions of individuals from both sides of the political spectrum have reached levels of incivility so extreme that it is impossible for me to stay silent. The actions of members of Congress, political candidates, media personalities, and citizens of the republic have been unacceptable. No excuses for the rudeness!

Spitting on somebody who is dining in a restaurant is intolerably offensive, childish, inexcusable, wrong, and beyond the bounds of civility in society.

Refusing to serve an individual in a restaurant, hotel, diner, or a place of public accommodation because of political affiliation  is illegal, discriminatory, rude, childish, immature, unacceptable and akin to refusing to serve an individual based upon race, creed, national origin, religion, sexual orientation or gender. Discrimination of any kind is wrong. If it is wrong to refuse to serve somebody based upon religion, it is wrong to refuse to serve somebody based upon political affiliation.

The rhetorical denigration of individuals who do not agree with one's political philosophy to the extent we are seeing today is not extraordinary. The vehement disagreements regarding the role of the federal government predates the ratification of the U.S. Constitution. However, the lack of civility by those who exhaust themselves "hating" a political leader that is polarizing, arguably obnoxious, but has otherwise been benign, puzzles me - as do the arguments that socialism is a viable option to capitalism. I lived in Hong Kong, the best example of the success of capitalism on earth, and one of the most vibrant economies that ever existed. You are entitled to your opinion. However, no citizen should be entitled to infringe on the rights of another citizen to enjoy the privileges of society.

You can't have it both ways. Either there is equal treatment under the law for all citizens and guests of this country, or there is not. Choose! Either discrimination for any reason is legal or illegal.  i was raised to believe that discrimination based upon any basis was wrong.

Appreciating a Weekend With My Dad

Todd and I are eastbound on I70 headed home to Virginia after spending a glorious weekend with my dad in Indiana. At 87 he’s been experiencing some health problems; and I needed to check in, sit with him on the screened porch in the back yard under the shade of the pecan trees, enjoy a few much needed hugs, and indulge in a bit of nostalgia.

Initially, his doctors thought he had pneumonia, or bronchitis, or congestive heart failure or a mild heart attack. Apparently, his chronic kidney disease was screaming at him to drink more water and stop lugging gigantic rocks around the yard after Kentucky Derby parties.

 He is not a typical octogenarian. He still walks faster than I. He gives talks on historical characters from Cass County, Indiana without notes. He plays the piano, goes to chair yoga, hosts parties, and goes out with friends regularly.

However, he is frustrated that he has been advised to stop the heavy lifting, cut back on salt, has his driving wings clipped a bit, and has to rest more frequently. But I don’t want him to give up all that makes him enjoy life with such gusto.

I am filled with gratitude that he has such wonderful friends and neighbors who love him and look out for him. I just wish sometimes I lived closer so I could spend more peaceful hours on the porch listening to his wren serenade him. Thank you, Daddy, for a joyous weekend.

A Bittersweet Mother's Day 2019

On this rainy Mother's Day, so many thoughts are ruminating in my brain. Mother's Day has morphed into another obligatory commercial holiday has that lost its original meaning. Even the founder of Mother's Day, Anna Jarvis, hated what her creation had become, a $5.2 Billion industry. 

Two years ago on Mother's Day we buried my mother's ashes. For those of us who have lost our mothers, the constant barrage of advertisements, emails, news articles, tweets, or reminders to buy gifts or send flowers or celebrate Mother's Day brings beautiful memories, but also heartache, melancholy, regret, tears and wishes that we could just have one more day, hour or minute with our moms.  This Mother's Day I'm thinking of all of my friends, coworkers & acquaintances who are mourning the loss of their mothers & sending positive energy and hugs into the Universe.

 I'm also thinking of a dear friend who is spending her first mother's day without one of her beloved sons, who was murdered two weeks ago today. Her Mother's Days will never be the same. None of her days will ever be the same. There will always be a hole in her heart as big as the Grand Canyon. This Mother's Day I am sending prayers to all of the mothers that have lost a child to violence, illness, accident or suicide. 

On this Mother's Day I am grateful to my mother-in-law, who raised her son to be a kind, considerate, empathetic, loving man.  She has welcomed me as a daughter and ensured that I feel truly part of the family.  Her support has helped me begin to heal from the loss of my own mother while I've helped her deal with the loss of her own mother. 

I am also filled with gratitude to my husband's biological mother, who made the decision to give him up for adoption, which gave him opportunity to live the life of Leave It To Beaver that he enjoyed growing up with my in-laws. 

So, I'm asking the Angels and the Universe to send comfort to all who have bittersweet memories on this Mother's Day.  

Taking & Enjoying Vacation Days - The Importance of Work /Life Balance

While I've advocated the necessity of work/life balance for many years,  I haven't always taken my own advice. Deep within my psyche I continued to believe erroneously that if I worked the extra hours, checked my emails and voicemails while on vacation or PTO, tried to prevent adverse developments and went the extra mile that the rewards would outweigh the drawbacks. In a corporate environment that raises the bar each year, expects employees to go above and beyond even to meet expectations, has little toleration for the human fallibility and focuses on "areas of opportunity" for development rather than what one does well, it becomes easier to embrace the benefits of downtime, weekends, vacations, and celebrations of everyday life.

My husband and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary last weekend with a glorious stay at the Marriott Desert Ridge Resort in Phoenix, Arizona followed by a peaceful drive to Las Vegas by way of a stop over in Jerome, Arizona to check out the Caduceus Winery  https://caduceus.org owned by Grammy winning Maynard James Keenan, who is also the winemaker. I made the conscious decision to enjoy my time away from the office, let go of the fear that something would blow-up, and anticipate that if it did, somebody else would handle it. I locked my work phone in the hotel safe. Out of sight; out of mind. I felt liberated.

During our stay at the resort we both let go of work, indulged in spa treatments, enjoyed drinks by the spa pool, sipped some fabulous wines and dined at delightful local restaurants. Although Todd was attending a trade show in Las Vegas, I continued my journey of self-kindness by seeking out those rare, hidden places of quiet away from the casinos, noisy arcades, and masses of humanity strolling up and down The Strip where I could sit in the sun and read my book to the sounds of a waterfall. 

Since I'm not much of a gambler, dislike crowds and smokey rooms, had no interest in any of the shows and saw no reason to shop in the same stores found in malls throughout the rest of the USA,  I had a manicure, tried a HydraFacial treatment (which was awesome), rode the New York New York rollercoaster, and explored the Shops at the Forum at Caesar's Palace, where I did manage to find an adorable pair of L.K.Bennett shoes for a song.

Although this interlude away from work ends tomorrow morning, I will continue to focus on the necessity of work/life balance, log off my laptop at 5:00pm whenever possible, and practice the self-care of yoga and Pilates regularly. 

Namaste!