The weekend before Thanksgiving means, for us, a top to bottom cleansing of our humble abode to eradicate as much kitty dander as we can to ensure minimal disruptions to the nasal passages of our allergic parental units. Its not that our efforts actually work; the cats still live here and shed their allergens with every breath. But, the house actually needs cleaning twice a year anyway.
So, the hazards associated with my “brilliant” ideas this weekend:
· While helping Todd install our new 8 foot sink in the dark room, one end
was dropped in the fleshy area between my right thumb and index finger, pinning my hand to the stand. Ouch!
· Outdoor feline resident Molly Cakes surreptitiously entered the basement while General Sherman was burning crates and made her way upstairs. She did not want to go back outside and I have the scratch marks on my fingers and arm as evidence.
· I learned that although Barkeepers Friend is a fabulous product for removing tarnish on silver, it also. …scratches the silver. I figured if it was okay for copper it was okay for silver. I was advised that I was wrong and essentially ruined a coffee pot. I thought it looked nice. So, it I have to polish silver the old fashioned way, I don’t want silver.
· Stepladders still have it in for me. I know, inanimate objects cannot be imbued with human characteristics. But really, the entire species of stepladders seem to entice me with the appearance of safety and stability only to flick me off when I’m on the top step. So, for fans of CLUE – Miss Scarlet in the kitchen with the stepladder while cleaning the top of the refrigerator!
· Window washing is another dangerous activity. I should have listened to my mother! And there is no sun in the winter months so why oh why did I think it necessary to wash my office windows. Yep, the window came out of the frame – again. Todd felt the need to show me the correct way to open the window for washing – which I already know! But it doesn’t work that way for me. Nope. I have a 20 -year history of adverse results trying to wash tilt out windows.
· A rose bush attacked me while I was raking. Fortunately, my 9-year-old Irish fisherman’s sweater protected most of my flesh. But somehow, while trying to pull the leaves out from under a particularly vicious plant, my left ear got caught on thorns and my sweater became entangled as well. It was not a pretty site. I think I have a new piercing in my left ear!
· I did discover where the cats enjoy their wild game – under the weigela
Yes, there were any number of colorful feathers mixed among the leaves and debris. I’ve tried to explain they should only eat blackbirds. Leave the pretty birdies alone!
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