Surviving a Weekend of Home & Yard Maintenance ~

The weekend before Thanksgiving means, for us, a top to bottom cleansing of our humble abode to eradicate as much kitty dander as we can to ensure minimal disruptions to the nasal passages of our allergic parental units.  Its not that our efforts actually work; the cats still live here and shed their allergens with every breath. But, the house actually needs cleaning twice a year anyway.

So, the hazards associated with my “brilliant” ideas this weekend:

·      While helping Todd install our new 8 foot sink in the dark room, one end

was dropped in the fleshy area between my right thumb and index finger, pinning my hand to the stand. Ouch!

·      Outdoor feline resident Molly Cakes surreptitiously entered the basement while General Sherman was burning crates and made her way upstairs. She did not want to go back outside and I have the scratch marks on my fingers and arm as evidence.

·      I learned that although Barkeepers Friend is a fabulous product for removing tarnish on silver, it also. …scratches the silver. I figured if it was okay for copper it was okay for silver. I was advised that I was wrong and essentially ruined a coffee pot. I thought it looked nice.  So, it I have to polish silver the old fashioned way, I don’t want silver.

·      Stepladders still have it in for me. I know, inanimate objects cannot be imbued with human characteristics. But really, the entire species of stepladders seem to entice me with the appearance of safety and stability only to flick me off when I’m on the top step. So, for fans of CLUE – Miss Scarlet in the kitchen with the stepladder while cleaning the top of the refrigerator!

·      Window washing is another dangerous activity. I should have listened to my mother! And there is no sun in the winter months so why oh why did I think it necessary to wash my office windows. Yep, the window came out of the frame – again.  Todd felt the need to show me the correct way to open the window for washing – which I already know! But it doesn’t work that way for me. Nope. I have a 20 -year history of adverse results trying to wash tilt out windows.

·      A rose bush attacked me while I was raking. Fortunately, my 9-year-old Irish fisherman’s sweater protected most of my flesh. But somehow, while trying to pull the leaves out from under a particularly vicious plant, my left ear got caught on thorns and my sweater became entangled as well. It was not a pretty site. I think I have a new piercing in my left ear!

·      I did discover where the cats enjoy their wild game – under the weigela

Yes, there were any number of colorful feathers mixed among the leaves and debris.  I’ve tried to explain they should only eat blackbirds. Leave the pretty birdies alone!

Accepting What Is: At Work I Will Never Be “Caught Up”

I decided to take an afternoon of Paid Time Off (“PTO”) tomorrow. So, to accommodate my OCD, I worked until 8:30pm this evening. I am an exempt employee with certain tasks that must be accomplished in a time sensitive manner and have am expected to accomplish certain goals whether it requires 25 or 90 hours per week.  I have a job that will never be current, up to date, caught up. Instead, I am an insurance claims professional with a high level of expertise and the most I can hope for is a moment where there are no landmines ready to explode that will result in career suicide.

When one achieves a certain level of authority in this industry, the opportunity for an adverse result from a small oversight can have significant, sometimes catastrophic results on the company’s bottom line.  Legal time constraints, deadlines, policy interpretation, guessing how a jury will look at a set of facts based on what a different jury concluded with similar facts; assessing the legal acumen of the opponents; trying to read into the crystal ball to gain insight into what a particular judge may rule on a motion; completing the reports that notify every layer of management in various business units that may be impacted by a decision, not the mention the occasional oversight of missing a documents that changes the entire complexion of a case or the legal bill for $15M that blindsides one at the end of a case. Those are the balls I juggle on a daily basis.

While I’ve come to accept that I have a job that will never allow me to feel “caught up”, I still feel compelled to do the best that I can do with the limited tools and time that I have to avoid the most common pitfalls.  To do my job expertly, I would have to work 90 hours per week. But I am not willing to aspire to expert level at this point in my life. My primary career goal is to remain employed until I’m ready not to be. But I also want to produce a work product beyond ordinary expectations, which does require me to put in extra time.

In general, I do not work more than 50 hours per week. I stop by 5:15pm on evening I go to yoga.  Sometime I will start later so I can get in my morning workout.  I would rather start earlier on occasion to turn off the computer at a reasonable time to indulge in a pedicure. And today, I decided that it was worth a few extra hours this evening so I can enjoy a free afternoon tomorrow.

But I have learned that a work- life balance is critical to my overall wellbeing and I will not concentrate on my job to the exclusion of what truly matters – the things I get to do because I work hard! So tomorrow – I plan to spend the afternoon collecting our wine club wines from our local favorites and perhaps I’ll spend an hour or so with my Kindle in front of the fire at Rappahannock with the peace of mind that I’ve put out most of the fires that could cause me angst.

Getting Fit At Any Age Is Possible – We Did It!

My Husband & I jut completed our first 90 days of the original Power 90 workout with Tony Horton by Beachbody. This is a 12+-year-old program that preceded the P90X, P90X2 and similar hardcore boot camps. It wasn’t easy. Although I have practiced yoga for the last 12 years, I prefer classes right after work that aren’t heated, include few inversions and basically follow either Yoga Fit or Yin programs. Since the ideal classes are usually later after I’m safely ensconced at home with a glass of wine, I wasn’t getting the cardio and strength training I needed to stay fit.

My husband had started the Power 90 program before I met him; but he happily conceded that once he caught me and no longer needed his plumage, he let fitness take a backseat to other more interesting activities. It was not until we were channeling the 2^nd President Bush – clearing brush on our wooded lot – and feeling uncharacteristically winded, that we both realized that to ensure we reached our goal of 50 years of marriage, which will require living to age 96 for me, we needed to made some changes.

I’ve never been motivated to work out at home. Participating in a class with others had been key to prior workout success. But we live in the country and a daily trip to a fitness center was not an option. And, we didn’t want to spend hours working out. So Todd ordered the original Power 90 on eBay and we decided to commit to the entire 90-day program, which consisted of 30 to 45 minutes workouts 6 days be week alternating cardio and sculpting.

The first three weeks were discouraging. We started at Level 1-2. We completed the 90 days still at Level 1-2. But our level of fitness improved with each week. And today we both feel great!

We both travel for business; but we knew that we couldn’t slack off.  So we made the decision to workout together via Face-Time on our iPads when one or both of us was on travel.  It wasn’t always easy. On a couple of occasions, we found ourselves without the DVD and used memory and a synopsis of the workout we found online. Working out together was key. We motivated one another.  We noticed the changes in our bodies and the changes in each other.

While we didn’t follow the nutrition program that was recommended, we were diligent about completing the workouts.  Seriously, to follow the food guide, we would have to do without wine and bacon. That was not a consideration.

But this is what happened: We both built muscle strength; we lost inches; we developed abs; our skin glows; we feel better; we look better; we have more energy; we learned we could do this at 54 and 55.

During the first 90 days I did not lose many pounds. But I gained muscle. My clothes fit better.  Notice I said the “first 90 days”.  We have now ordered the new P90 workout. Until it arrives, we will continue with the Power 90 workouts.

Yes, Tony Horton’s corny humor can be annoying. The music can be grating. But, Tony Horton’s workout are accessible for anybody looking to get fit. He provides accommodations for those getting started. He kept us engaged and optimistic. 

Ultimately, it is important to accept that cross training is key. Lifting weighs only or performing cardio only will not do the job. It is important to do both. And I’m a firm believer that portion control with food is key. Moderation in all things.

A Book Review: The Life I Left Behind by Colette McBeth

It has been a long time since I've picked up a book by a new author that I couldn't put down. But this story was so intriguing, the characters well developed, and the narrative engaging that I wanted to stay buried in the story and then felt sadness when I reached the last page.

The Life I Left Behind is told from the perspective of three strong, vibrant women. Melody survived a vicious attack, has memory lapses and no longer trusts her judgment. Eve's ghost narrates her investigation into what really happened to Melody. DI Rutter questions the original investigation that may have resulted in a wrongful conviction.

While I did have an inkling as to the real culprit, the book held my interest, maintained a high level of suspense, and kept me intrigued. That is the sign of a good read. I'm not planning to buy Colette McBeth's earlier book, Precious Thing.

In full disclosure I received an Advance Reading Copy of this book through Bookbrowse.com First Impressions. The Life I Left Behind will be published by Minotaur Books in February 2015.

Dealing With Meanness & Sabotage – It’s a Matter of Trust

This morning I am thankful for the first step of my Al-Anon program in which I learned that I have no control over other people, places and things.  Sometimes I still struggle with this. My natural tendency is to obsess about challenges and it has taken me years to learn perspective. 

Last evening my husband and I attended the Master’s Flute Concert of our friend Kerri Kappler at Shenandoah University. The music was mesmerizing and set the tone for a lovely evening. Although invited to join our friends for a celebratory dinner, we decided to allow Kerri to enjoy the evening with her family and stopped at Roma on the Winchester, Virginia walking mall to try their wood-fired pizza. We shared pizza, a bottle of red table wine from Virginia’s Naked Mountain Winery, and walked arm n arm back to the car.

After we arrived home, my husband realized he must have left his cell phone in the car. Neither of us could find it. It had apparently slipped under the seats. So I called his number with my cell to confirm it was there and “voila’” he found it.

A few minutes later he walked into the kitchen and put a photograph on the counter that he said was under the driver’s seat of the car I usually drive. It had to have been a cruel joke or just cruel – a color photo of somebody’s man parts.  He had to ask if I knew anything about it. No doubt it looked incriminating. All I could say was I was just as flummoxed as he, that I had no idea how it had gotten there, and that I felt a hole in the pit of my stomach. The car is a BMW Z4 convertible and during warm weather I often leave the top down when I run errands. It does attract attention. It is a beautiful car. But why would somebody do that?  That was just plain mean.

Ultimately, I must rely upon our ten years of mutual love and trust, the knowledge that since the moment I first met my husband I’ve had eyes for nobody else, that being with him makes my heart sing, and that he knows that as deeply in his bones and heart that I would never jeopardize the glorious relationship we’ve shared and the future we’ve planned for anything. It’s a matter of trust.

And, I’m not stupid. If it were a photograph of awesome shoes, an Antebellum house in Natchez, MS, a winery in Napa, the seacoast of Santa Maria di Castellabate in Italy, a print of one of our wet-plate images, or my yoga friends at The Greenbrier – that could be me. But parts? Never!

Celebrating A Girls’ Weekend – A Yoga Retreat at The Greenbrier

The best laid plans of mice & men….It had been our intention to spend Halloween Weekend at Yogaville. an Ashram near Charlottesville, Virginia. We tried. Really we did. Despite the vegetarian menu and alcohol free/caffeine free environment, we thought the spiritual community would help us strengthen our yoga practices. Or, at least it would be “an experience”. But the Ashram was all booked up – unless we were amenable to bunking in a dormitory with a shared bathroom. That may have been okay 20 years ago, but at 55, dormitory stays are no longer an option.

So after a few short minutes on Google, I found a yoga retreat at The Greenbrier. The package for the 1^st class resort was not substantially pricier than the vegetarian, alcohol free ashram. And, the Greenbrier boasts a world-renowned spa. So after a few seconds of consideration, we altered our expectations for the weekend and said, “yes” to the spa.

One of the original foursome developed a conflict; but we were able to recruit another brave soul to join us.  Friday afternoon we motored to Lewisburg, WV and dropped our jaws as we drove up the driveway of this palace of excess that has attracted distinguished visitors since 1788 including numerous presidents as early as 1815, the Duke & Duchess of Windsor, numerous movie stars, captains of industry, politicians, and sportsman. Greenbrier originally attracted folks to the mineral springs, which were thought to be healing waters.

Even for we less illustrious visitors The Greenbrier offers top notch service, a friendly staff of long standing employees who seem to love their jobs, a comfortable environment despite the over-the-top art deco décor, old-world charm, excellent food, champagne, a casino with a “starter” promo card, a 101 year old luxurious indoor pool, guest rooms that are not cookie cutter boring, and an abundance of activities from golf, to spa treatments, to bowling to falconry.

Our yoga classes were taught by an engaging, Yoga-Fit trained, instructor who made the classes fun, challenging and friendly. The group was small but collegial. The retreat gave us a purpose or excuse for the road trip. But we all enjoyed some individual pampering at the spa (for me a hot-stone massage and time in the steam room) as well as some delightful meals together and yoga practices.

While it had been eons since I’d indulged in a girls’ weekend, I was reminded why they are so important for my wellbeing.  Sometimes it is just rejuvenating to spend an extended time having girl talk, reminiscing about slumber parties from our youth, not having to worry if our significant others are bored by our interests or conversation, chatting for hours, laughing, bonding, sharing our experiences, shopping for shoes or pottery or jewelry or essential oils, and collectively understanding the challenges of night sweats, hot flashes, kitchen renovations, and the difficulty of finding stylish clothes when we are no longer the target demographic for fashion designers.  But most of all is it sharing laughter, & camaraderie & experiences as women who have lived interesting lives and plan to continue doing so as vibrant, relevant, well-rounded, individuals. I do believe a fabulous time was had by all.