Monday, September 3, 2012

The Gift of Change

The Gift of Change

I spent the first decades of my life resisting change. It was fear, pure & simple fear of the unknown. I worried about other people, places and things over which I had no control. Such a delusion to believe I had any control to begin with.

During my first marriage in the depths of despair a friend referred me to Al Anon. I was living in Hong Kong; my life was crumbling around me; my husband was fired from his job for his drinking; I pretended all was normal – until I cracked and found a rage within me that scared me. I realized I had a capacity for anger that had to be quelled. During my first meeting I was asked what had brought me there and I confessed my horror at the rage I felt.  To those who had experienced similar circumstances, my expressing those feelings was normal. I found I wasn’t alone.

Through attending meetings I learned the definition of insanity as doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result. For me it became critical that I change my attitude and approach to life. Slowly I learned to embrace change and found it is the path to growth and happiness.

In changing my attitude to focus on possibility and the benefits of change, I met my husband online, I sold my house and moved to a different state, I relocated my job, I moved to the country from urban living, I became a gardener, I learned historic photographic processes, I learned how to shoot a gun, and I learned to find peace within. Life is offers lessons every day and I try to accept what is and to celebrate my blessings. I’ve tried to cultivate an attitude of gratitude and hope, with the guidance of my higher power, to continue on my path.

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