Thursday, July 26, 2012
Dealing with Grief By Moving Heavy Furniture
I’ve been restless today. I knew my dear friend Catherine was in extremis and not expected to live. Yesterday I was notified that she passed into the light. While it was expected, it was nonetheless disconcerting. I loved her dearly and will miss her laughter. I don’t often shed tears, but my drive to yoga last evening was tear filled and emotional. But I went to my practice because I knew it would be healing.
Catherine has been on my mind constantly since I learned of her condition. I was so distracted during the afternoon that I managed to pour diet root beer all over my shirt and trousers. I IM’d my manager who suggested I take a break, which resulted in my decision to re-arrange the furniture in our bedroom.
For the 6½ years we’ve lived in this house, I’ve never been able to see the television in the bedroom without an obstruction from the four-poster rice bed blocking my view. I’ve always had to contort myself to see the screen. So, I decided enough was enough. I removed the drawers from the triple dresser and the chest on chest, cleared the dust bunnies that had, no doubt, contributed to my nasal congestion, and maneuvered the cumbersome furnishings into a more user friendly space. Naturally, I relayed my machinations to Todd after the fact by calling his cell phone. Fortunately, no hardwood floors were injured in this exercise or I would have had some splainin’ to do!
He didn’t hate it. That is the good news. And I am okay with the changes, because we can now watch “Downton Abbey”, “Boardwalk Empire” or “Game of Thrones” without my having to emulate Olga Korbet in the Olympics of decades past to get a view of the screen.
Stress stimulates my organizing genes. Like the serenity prayer reminds me, I must accept the things I cannot change and have the courage to change the things I can. I cannot change the sad fact that I’ve lost a wonderful friend; I had to change my focus – so I decided to re-organize and move heavy furniture without help because that channeled by energy into something other than grief. Todd is a firm believer in the power of my OCD when channeled appropriately – that is why we have a Garden of Eden in small plantings throughout our shale desert of a yard. I’ve come to accept the cycle of life. I may not like it, but since it is inevitable, I might as well embrace it. I mourn the loss of my friend, Catherine, one of my earth angels; but celebrate the life she lived and count myself among the blessed that counted her as a friend.