QTIP – Lessons from Yoga & Al Anon
Sometimes I am amazed how a day or an evening can follow a theme. This evening at both yoga and the Al Anon meeting that followed I participated in discussions about how we humans tend to take so many things personally that really have nothing to do with us. So when I heard the acronym “QTIP” for “quit taking it personally” I had one of those light bulb moments. This is something I can remember to keep myself focused on living a life of peace and serenity.
The first discussion involved a friend feeling she might have hurt my feelings when she didn’t respond to an email from me that she hadn’t read right way because it was a response to something completely different. I said I’d been concerned that I’d sent the email to the wrong address and might have hurt somebody else’s feelings. We laughed because we both had let our egos think it was all about “me”.
Just a short time later I attended an Al Anon meeting on the subject of detachment with love. It was during that meeting that I heard the term QTIP. After so many years in the program I’ve no doubt heard it in the past; but this time it resonated with me.
Detachment with love is a tool we use in the program to encourage friends and family of alcoholics to allow their loved one to make their own mistakes and to deal with the consequences of those mistakes. However, as with all of the lessons I’ve learned from Al Anon and yoga, I can practice the principals in all of my affairs. To me this means that my happiness does not depend upon the actions or inactions of others. If somebody acts in a way that I do not appreciate, it does not mean it was done to annoy me. QTIP means that others actions really have nothing to do with me.
If somebody doesn’t return a phone call, I shouldn’t take it personally. If someone at work wants to create trouble, I shouldn’t take it personally. People do or say things because of something they need. Despite our desires to be perceived as altruistic people, most of us are self-centered. I want to think it’s all about me – don’t you!
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