Lessons of Al Anon –The 3 C’s
As
I’ve readily expressed I’ve been a grateful member of Al Anon for many years.
My first meeting, in fact, was 10/15/1993. It is hard to believe it’s been
nearly 19 years.
Many
people come to Al Anon hoping the group will provide a solution to curing the
alcoholic or alcoholics in their lives. However, we find the only solution to
serenity lies within ourselves. We must focus on ourselves, work to change our
own attitudes, and work towards self -knowledge and self-improvement.
One
of the hardest lessons is learning to accept the 3 C’s. We did not cause the
alcoholism; we cannot control the alcoholism; we cannot control the alcoholism.
It
was, and is, in my nature to be a fixer. It did not make sense that I could not
fix my loved one’s alcoholism. At one
point in my life, I thought it was my responsibility to fix somebody else’s
problem. I also morphed that concept of
duty into other aspects of my life. That is why it became so critical that I
accept the concept of the 3 C’s as a universal understanding.
To
believe I have such a power over another person to exercise control over what
he or she does or becomes is hubris. It is an inflated sense of self. Or, it is
a belief if such insecurity that I would believe it when another blames me for
his or her problems.
The
fact is, I am powerless over other people, places and things with the exception
of my own attitude. I have control over how I react to situations, comments by
others, opinions, insults, praise, how I want to start my day. This is a precious gift. By acknowledging I
have no power, I also acknowledge I have no responsibility for the actions,
words, decisions of others.
I
celebrate the freedom in the gift of knowledge that it is not up to me or
within my power to change another human being. Each of us has our own higher
power. Thankfully, I’ve learned that valuable lesson.
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